Liu Hengzhi’s nose obtained two additional rows of teeth marks, two rows of very exquisite little teeth marks. Liu Hengzhi went to the restaurant as usual with his decorated nose and was even completely cheerful.
Today, he still left early. The restaurant’s accountant was a bit unhappy. Liu Hengzhi imparted heartfelt words to enlighten him. “Having a child is a big matter. Without children, this restaurant doesn’t have a future. For the sake of this restaurant’s future, your shopkeeper, I, also must struggle daily as well as plow and weed nightly. What a noble task this is ah!”
Liu Hengzhi left the restaurant as the accountant rolled his eyes, then hummed a little tune as he returned home.
After dinner, Ruoshui purposefully dawdled in Mother Liu’s courtyard. Only when Father Liu’s facial color seemed a bit unhappy did she pout and return to her own courtyard.
Liu Hengzhi was currently sitting next to the table balancing account books. His abacus rang out with ‘bilipala’ sounds as he calculated. When he saw Ruoshui come in, he smiled and said, “Did Shuishui enjoy chatting with Mom? You should wash up and go rest.”
Ruoshui gave a light humph. “I want to read. I’ve already slept enough during the day. And, I’m sleeping on the small couch. I’ve had Hong Ye install the mosquito net.”
When Liu Hengzhi heard that, he lifted his head and saw that there was an additional mosquito net in the room. He expressionlessly shifted the candle to the side and made the light brighter as he said, “Don’t read too long, your eyes will get tired.”
Ruoshui pouted as she slanted a glance towards him before randomly picking up an illustrated legends book to read while leaning on the table. From the start, there weren’t a lot of illustrations in the book so as Ruoshui flipped through the pages, she soon finished looking through them all. When she lifted her head, she saw that Liu Hengzhi was still engrossed in organizing the accounts and felt a little bored.
Liu Hengzhi computed on the abacus as he started to speak in an off-handed way, “A while ago, I had someone make a set of ‘Timeless Fragrant Scene’ gold and jade hairpins. Yesterday, I just received the goods. That handiwork was truly beautiful and they’re the sole model in Ruzhou.”
Ever since Ruoshui took Xiaoqi’s crystal hairpins, she also fell in love with collecting hairpins. When she heard this, her eyes started emitting light. Yet Liu Hengzhi returned to focusing on transcribing the account books and didn’t continue speaking.
Ruoshui gave a couple laughs to curry favor and asked, “Where did you put it?”
Liu Hengzhi knitted his brows as he thought deeply. “Originally, I placed it inside my sleeve pocket, but I couldn’t find it today. If it didn’t fall next to the clothes rack, it probably fell on the bed.” After he finished speaking, he returned to concentrating on the accounts.
Ruoshui glanced at Liu Hengzhi with her eyes wide. Taking advantage of the fact that he was focused on the accounts, she tiptoed to the clothes rack. Ruoshui circled around the clothes rack twice and even dug through all the clothes that he had changed out of today but didn’t see the gold jade hairpin. If it wasn’t on the ground, it was definitely on the bed. Ruoshui hesitated a moment, but still rushed towards the bedside without noticing that a certain person behind her was laughing nefariously with his shoulders trembling.
Liu Hengzhi drew a big X on the paper. There’s a price to pay if you want to sleep on separate beds~
Ruoshui swiftly lifted the thick blanket and shook it out. Her eyes spun and swept all around the entire bed. When Ruoshui saw a certain gleaming object at the head of the bed, she became delighted and climbed onto the bed to grab it. However, she had just stretched out her little hand when she was lifted up from behind by someone.
Ruoshui froze for a moment and her clothes were instantly stripped. Ruoshui covered her dudou as she wailed, “You loathsome person. You lied to me again!!”
“I couldn’t bear to lie to Shuishui. Not only is there a ‘Timeless Fragrant Scene’, there’s even a ‘The Dragon Above Topples the Phoenix’. Each set is more beautiful than the last.” Liu Hengzhi, with practiced movements, bit on Ruoshui’s sensitive areas through the dudou.
Not sure if the author wrote it wrong on purpose or accidentally, but the actually saying is ‘the luan above topples the phoenix’. The luan is a mythical bird related to a phoenix, but I couldn’t find any mentions of it elsewhere and it seems to be mostly used in this particular saying that refers to sexual intercourse and sometimes, more explicitly, the 69 position…
“Nnn, you bastard! I’m going to look for Xiaoqi, I’m going to Tongxu, I’m… wuu… you’re biting again! Again! If you bite anymore I’ll scratch you!”
Who’s scratching who?
Not only did the dragon above topple the phoenix tonight, they even welcomed the first cool night of midsummer. When Ruoshui was eaten cleanly from top to body and laid limply in Liu Hengzhi’s arms, she finally got the chance to scratch Liu Hengzhi’s face. It was just that her hands were already trembling like the dead leaves in the autumn wind, without even the slightest bit of strength left.
As the cool wind entered the canopy through the opened windows, Ruoshui gritted her teeth and vowed: if I get on the bed again tomorrow, my surname’s not Wen!!
However, plans can never catch up with variations. This was common sense. Ruoshui’s surname was no longer Wen either, her clan name had already been Liu Wen for a long time.
Tonight, Ruoshui took the initiative to climb into the bed. This wasn’t because she had gotten over it but because she really, really, really couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore. After sleeping an entire day, she still felt sleepy.
Ruoshui didn’t even eat dinner. She drowsily waited for Liu Hengzhi to pounce over so she could kick him in his vital part. She had planned everything out and had even decided on the angle of attack. If she didn’t kick him down this time, her surname wasn’t Wen. Humph!
Liu Hengzhi did come to the bedside but stood next to Ruoshui’s head. Ruoshui cried without tears and pouted. “Why aren’t you standing at the end of the bed? I can’t lift my leg that high!”
Liu Hengzhi obediently moved to the middle of the bed closer to the back and waited for Ruoshui to send a kick over. When it arrived, he cried ‘ah’ and fell to the ground. Only after half a day did he leaned over the bedside while covering his stomach to say, “Shuishui really kicked ruthlessly. Why didn’t Shuishui eat dinner?”
Ruoshui’s body was sore and heavy. It felt so weak that she couldn’t summon any strength at all. She blinked her eyes and couldn’t help crying from the grievances she felt. “You’re always playing at evil spirits fighting* so I can’t sleep well at all. I’m always sleeping during the day and my mouth feels icky, wuuwuuwuuwuu…”
In a certain book called ‘A Dream of Red Mansions’, a dumb Miss picked up an embroidered handkerchief. On the handkerchief was the image of two people making love. Since she was too young to understand and a bit dumb, she thought it was two evil spirits fighting. That’s how the saying was born.
Liu Hengzhi sat next to the bed and hugged Ruoshui. Gently patting her back, he said, “I was bad. Does Shuishui want to kick me one more time?”
Ruoshui sobbed as she lifted her leg. Liu Hengzhi hurriedly put her down and stood below her leg. However, he cooperated a little too enthusiastically. Before Ruoshui’s leg even made contact he already fell over. Ruoshui’s mouth was open, undecided between crying or laughing. Only after a long while did the ‘wuuwuu’ and ‘haha’ combine into an unbridled ‘wahaha’.
As they were messing around here, Mother Liu had already given a light cough and led the doctor inside after pushing open the door. Liu Hengzhi climbed to his feet and winked at Ruoshui before tucking Ruoshui’s clothes tightly closed.
The doctor was a frequent visitor of the Liu fu. Ever since half a month after Ruoshui married in, he started running to the Liu home every few days. From the expression on his face, there didn’t seem to be much hope.
Liu Hengzhi also didn’t mind. In any case, having no children was also pretty good. As long as he manages to plant one before the Wen and Song family gets a second pregnancy, it was enough.
But how did that saying go? The greater the hopes, the greater the disappointment. If you harbor no hope, you experience no disappointment. Perhaps Liu Hengzhi has recited ambitabha Buddha a little too much, or perhaps the fruits of his industrious and diligent efforts have finally appeared, or perhaps the Heavens doesn’t wish for the Liu family’s child to be a little fifth. In any case, the doctor stroked his beard and reported the happy news.
“It’s finally here. You should be careful during this period of time.”
Mother Liu asked excitedly, “There’s two?”
The doctor lifted his brows, surprised. “Your family has had two before?”
Mother Liu was slightly disappointed. But on a different thought, having one was not bad. A couple more pregnancies would gather enough. Not to mention, giving birth to a child was like making a jade artifact. Having two in one pregnancy definitely doesn’t give enough attention to sculpting and the children don’t come out meticulous enough. Only children that come out one at a time are carefully carved and cut in guaranteed high quality. Thinking of it like this, Mother Liu became delighted.
Liu Hengzhi was a little overjoyed to the point he forgot to care about appearances. He hugged Ruoshui’s leg and shouted as he fell onto the foot of the bed. Mother Liu pulled him up by the ear as she scolded, “Be more careful in the future. Don’t make a disturbance day and night anymore! Hurry up and coax your wife. Why are there still tears in her eyes?”
Liu Hengzhi laughed ‘hehe’ as he hugged Ruoshui and sat up. Without waiting for Mother Liu to leave, he smacked a big kiss on Ruoshui. Mother Liu curled her lips and glared at Liu Hengzhi before going to the outer room.
Liu Hengzhi rubbed Ruoshui’s stomach as he said, “If the baby boy grows quickly he’ll be able to oust those two little guys from the Song family. That way, he won’t suffer losses in fights. If it’s a baby girl, then just enchant those two babies from the Song family to death. Humph! Who asked to them come out first!”
Several years later – when Song Yu, under Song Yi’s command, rode on top of Liu Mushui and menaced him, when the two little guys from the Song family disdained his family’s daughter in all sorts of ways – Liu Hengzhi discovered sorrowfully that being born a year earlier was truly, truly, truly not the same ah. That pitiful little fourth, Liu Mushui, haa, was destined to be bullied his entire life.
Credits: Translated by Chiyomira, Proofread by Ocelot
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