Kuzu Inou【Ondo wo Kaeru Mono】 no Ore ga Musou suru made Chapter 30

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30 Block C  Battlefield Ristorante

In exchange of the win of the Tactical Wars Block B, the waiting room of Teihen High School’s participants who lost something important, was very gloomy.

This time’s offender (Hero), Midou Suguru returned from the arena with a refreshing smile.

「Yo, I won!」
「I waited for you. Now die!」

The next moment, countless arrows fired by Yumino Miharu attack Midou Suguru.
And at the moment several arrows were going pass through the refreshing pervert’s forehead……his figure disappeared.

「Isn’t that cruel? I’m tired from the match, you know?」

Midou Suguru appears behind Yumino Miharu as if nothing happened.

「Well well, I think it’s reasonable for the girls to be angry, but……at any rate, a win is a win. Why don’t we evaluate that honestly?」

1-B’s Katada Kentarou calms the agitated Yumino Miharu.

「Right…Setting aside his treatment, it’s another win. With that, we won twice in a row」
「Yes, I think it’s amazing. 2 consecutive wins against that Takasei Academy. ……Except for the way of winning it」

Toma Shuuhei and Otonashi Sayaka agree to that.

「………You remember this. Next time, I will definitely kill you…」
「Ah, I will always welcome a visit from a lovely girl like you anytime」

Midou Suguru accepts Yumino’s subjugation notice with a smile.

Looking at them from the side, Katada changed the topic to the next match.

「Now, next is Block C…it’s your turn, so are you ready?」

「Yeah, anytime!」
「Gourmet does not pick time and place」

There’s a student holding a frying pan while wearing like a chef with various seasonings attached on his waist, a bodily build male student in the appearance as if he’s eating at a high class restaurant…and also, a small girl who has changed into a waitress clothes.

They replied in order,

Yamaoka Jouji. 『【Dish Maker】S-LEVEL 1』.
Umihara Yuu. 『【General Eater】S-LEVEL 1』.
Kawara Chiki. 『【Poison Eraser】S-LEVEL 1』.

Originally, these three are not combatants, but they are now participating as a 「special tanker」 in Block C.

「Are you ready, Otonashi-san? Can you move just as planned?」
「Yeah, sure」

「Kagura-san too…If it gets dangerous, please resign immediately. If you get a serious wound, then it would come to nothing」
「Okay. But I do as much as I can」

Teihen High School’s sole 「healer」, Kagura Mai replied to Katada Kentarou. Originally, she’s not a combatant, but she’s standing here because she wanted to.

「Well then…let’s head to our battlefield」

Everyone nods in reply to Otonashi Sayaka, and started to head to the arena.




On the other hand, in Takasei Academy waiting room.

Hiuchi Yumiko who came back from the arena palely, sits down on the floor grasping her knees at the corner of the waiting room and sobs. Kazato Rie who also came back from the match, pats her back silently while standing beside her.

「Those guys from Teihen High School, they really will do anything to win……To be honest, it freaked me out……」
「This is broadcasted nationwide, right?? No one can imagine that they would do such a thing there」
「That’s why, they used that……」
「Anyway, with this, it’s 2 losses. In addition, 2 consecutive defeats to a F ranked low class high school. This is a disgrace to Takasei Academy’s honor」

「Furthermore, retiring is not acceptable. As for those two girls’ punishment……well, let’s leave that to the director and teachers. Now…what do we do? Is there any change of plans?」

「No, there’s no such instruction from the director. Meaning that we just go with the current plan. Although several unexpected situations occurred, it doesn’t meant that our true strength has changed」

「Man, I’m starting to get irritated. To be underestimated by a lower rank this far……It makes us who became the participants for Takasei Academy with desperate feelings, look like idiots」
「Ah…we will show them the different in level in Block C’s match」




『『Well then, participants, please get into your position. The Tactical Wars 3rd match, Block C’s match will start soon』』

The participants of both schools enter the arena after the announcement.

『『Are you ready? Well then, the 3rd match…』』

And the third act of the Talent School War…

『『Tactical Wars Block C, Battle, start!!!』』

Block C’s match started.
The first one that made a move was the Takasei Academy.

「Like hell I would let us be underestimated any further…I’ll crush you all quickly! 『Fire Rain』!!」
「We’ll annihilate you before you can move from the starting position…『Stone Bullet』!!!」

The rain of fireballs and stones fall.
A merciless long-range attack rains down to the Teihen High School’s student.

Ingredients are coming, Yamaoka」

Chiki said.

「Now……what taste will you show me today…?」

Holding a knife and fork, Umihara Yuu looks up at the sky with a smile.

「Oh! Well then, time to open……the Battlefield Ristorante!! 『Cooking』!」

And…Yamaoka Jouji shouts while looking at the attack coming from the opponents.

「What we have for today is!! The freshly harvested 「fireballs」 that can burn your skin!!! In addition!!! A big catch of 「stones」 that came flying as if cutting the wind!!!」

「Hohou…………So, what’s the menu for today?」

Umihara Yuu entrust the fork and knife to Kawara Chiki and fix the napkin on his chest while sitting on the chair with a table set upped in front of him.

「That……you must look forward when the food is served!!!!」

Yamaoka said that, and swings up the…frying pan which he was holding.

The rain of fireballs disappeared.
And his frying pan burst into flames.

「Uha!!! It’s here~!!!!! Today’s first ingredient!!!!」

Next…he takes out another frying pan from somewhere, and swings once.

The rain of stones disappeared.
Disregarding the venue that became noisy, Yamaoka continues to 「cook」.

「And today’s second ingredient!!!! Alright!! I’m getting the image~!!!!!」

Yamaoka shakes both of the frying pan, and the moment the 「ingredients」 float in the air, he chop them with a knife.

Just like that, he place square-shaped ocher something on the plate…and add a red sauce and white sauce beside it.

「Hey!! One serving done!!!!!」

Yamaoka presented the dish to Kawara Chiki.
And Kawara Chiki in a waitress appearance, receive the dish, place the dish on the table elegantly and said this.

「…Sir, here’s the chef’s recommended dish for today」


「What is this…? What is this dirty colored thing…Are you saying that this restaurant is giving this kind of thing to the customers?」

Umihara presented an honest opinion on the food’s appearance.

「Well, please try to eat it…like you are being tricked」

Yamaoka didn’t feel hesitant upon hearing the sharp opinion on the appearance, and presented the metal knife and fork to Umihara.

「Hmph, making fun of me. If it tastes bad, don’t think that you will get away with it……」

And Umihara cuts the square-shaped thing with the knife into a proper size, dips the white sauce on the side, and carries it to his mouth slowly.

A strange nervousness filled……the whole arena.
For some reason since a while ago, the arena’s display is showing a close-up of Umihara eating the food.

And the moment Umihara holds the thing in his mouth.


The next moment, the time stopped in there…the whole coliseum’s mood was enveloped by 「Nn?」.
After that short stagnation…

「Nn!!!! Deli~~~~~cious!!!!!!!!!?」

Umihara’s happy shriek echoed in the venue.
He continued by saying his thoughts of the food.

「This!? This crunchy feeling…don’t tell me……you……used a peridot!?」

Upon hearing Umihara’s comment, Yamaoka Jouji grins and…bows respectfully.

「It’s as you say, Sir」
「In addition to that, the smell after crunching the stones…this texture……this is……no…impossible…」
「As you imagine……it’s the sauce made of quartz powder」
「As I thought!? It produced such taste with this!? Unbelievable…!!!」

Umihara showed admiration just with a bite…

「Then, Sir. Please try the red sauce too」

Yamaoka points at the red sauce…prompting him to eat it.

「……Hmm. This white sauce is a good quality, but……what is this red sauce? It looks like blood. Judging from the look of it, it doesn’t look like fruits……」
「Sir. You will not know the taste……if you don’t try it」

While grinning, Yamaoka prompts Umihara to eat once again.

「Hmph. I don’t need you to say it…」

Just like that, Umihara dips the brown thing on the burning red sauce, and put into his mouth.
And the moment the food is in his mouth…


A large amount of flames blow out from Umihara’s mouth.


Tumbling down from the table, Umihara runs around the arena while blowing fire.
Upon seeing the strange aspect of Teihen High School’s team, Takasei Academy’s students just stared at them in a daze.

「Gobaa!? This!? This taste is!? You!? You used fireballs on this sauce!?」

While blowing fire, Umihara continues to give a review.

「What a wonderful stimulation…How sweet!! How spicy!! And the smell of ardent flames rising up from the nasal cavity…………This is!!!!」

Umihara stands up with his arms and eyes opened wide…

「De!!! Li!!! Cious~~!!!!!!!!」

And screamed with the voice reaching the skies.
ANd………while blowing fire to the sky, he fell down to the ground looking upward, and stopped moving.

While seeing that, Yamaoka said this proudly.

「I name this menu as…『Stone Rillettes~Garnished with Quartz Sauce and Sweet and Spicy Flame Sauce』!」

And shortly after……the rain of fireballs and stones attacks again.

Yamaoka looks at Umihara’s face in satisfaction…

「With no customers…then I have no choice. With that, the Battlefield Ristorante……is closed……!!!」

And holding hands with Kawara Chiki in satisfaction……the rain of fire and stone struck them.




And after a few minutes…

『『8 people are incapable to continue and the remaining one resigned for Teihen High School……A complete defeat! Therefore…』』

The match end buzzer resounds in the venue.

『『Game, set! The winner of Block C is Takasei Academy!』』


Otonashi-chan quietly…retired the fastest after getting involved in the rain of fire.

「As expected, it’s no use, huh……」
「Well, I think they did well. I mean, the food review」


Character File 027

NAME: Yamaoka Jouji

CLASS: 【Dish Maker】S-LEVEL 1

Possessing a very rare Talent that 「can cook anything to become delicious」. His dream is to open a first-class restaurant. His grandfather is an Italian. Therefore, he has a little of Latin blood running in his veins. He enrolled into Teihen High School due to possessing a Talent, but he continued to oppose it as he wanted to go to a culinary school. Because he is considered as a noncooperative person and his Talent being useless to the military, he enrolled into the worst school.
He always devote himself to researching ingredients with Umihara Yuu and Kawara Chiki. His ability’s essence is 「cook 『anything』 to become delicious」. Therefore, if he feel like it, he can even cook a bullet or a bomb into something delicious, but it is a different thing when you consider it can be eat or not. His motto is 「Use the optimal amount of ingredients, and provide the best satisfaction」.
Every ingredients are equal. With that in mind and the power to cook anything, he cooked a lot of strange things. Hence, people often 「won’t eat it even though it is delicious」. His relationship with Umihara Yuu who will eat his food while finding the fault, very close even though they quarrel a lot.




Character File 028

NAME: Umihara Yuu

CLASS: 【General Eater】S-LEVEL 1

A self-proclaimed gourmet who boasts of 「a food taste the most delicious when it’s almost rotten」. Capable of seeing 「whether it’s alright to eat or not」 in just an instant. By the way, due to his own philosophy, the taste is not assured.
To be precise, his Talent makes the thing that is recognize as 「food」 by Umihara, digest in his stomach as 「food」. Although poison is judged as poison, if you mix Chiki’s Talent and Yamaoka’s Talent, he will have a almost invincible stomach. By the way, curry is categorized as drinks.
Regarding food, he always talk to Kawara Chiki. Often criticize Yamaoka Jouji’s dishes (From a ordinary person’s tongue, Yamaoka’s dish is artistically delicious, but those two’s tastes are slightly weird). A big eater and a giant, but he can eat up more than the size easily.




Character File 029

NAME: Kawara Chiki

CLASS: 【Poison Eraser】S-LEVEL 1

A war orphan and a street child who was forced to lived on the street. She survived by eating rotten things at the river beach, and was sheltered by the local health personnel. Then, it was confirmed that she has a Talent. She can turn not just food’s poison, but also any kind of poison into harmless. Her date of birth is unknown and her age is also the same, but her age is assumed to be 14 or 15 years old. Because she grew up without any nutrition, her figure is thin.
Her name is from her favorite food since childhood, the convenience store 「Lomison」’s 「Lomichiki」. When they gave her the option to pick her name, it became like this. By the way, the food was not something disposed, but a young man working at the convenience store, gave it to her. This young man was also the one who contacted the health personnel.



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5 Responses to Kuzu Inou【Ondo wo Kaeru Mono】 no Ore ga Musou suru made Chapter 30

  1. lyx97 says:

    Thanks for the chapter.
    Lol the souma references.

  2. Terratech says:

    Any attack become a good ingredients with a detox and cooked it with skill anything cooked will become delicious— but this Umihara Yuu is the one who Made a mistake… If She really eat more it’ll become hilarious spectacle— well it’s already hilarious though— Thanks for Chapter

  3. A random passerby says:

    Ok so that was quite the comedy on the battlefield

  4. thediabolicalgenius says:

    I do love the way this work alternates between Baka to Test style comedy and seriousness.
    And now it’s time for the cooking segment of the battle. I wonder what’s on the menu for today eh?

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