What’s Your Gender, Princess? 2

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【2】

After being astonished, the “me” in front of me expressionlessly extracted out the dagger that was originally stuck in the bed, stared at the word on the dagger, and said: “Yun? Heeh, East Yuan Country’s royal name — you are a member of the East Yuan imperial family, and even know martial arts. Ohh, could you be Princess Changyi?”

I stared blankly, and asked: “How did you know that?”

Frankly speaking, seeing your own face say something to you while using a peculiar intonation, now that was a complicated feeling. It was like looking into your reflection in the water, and then a rock hits the water, forming a circular greenish blue ripple that made you look weird and indistinct.

“Changyi is an expert in martial arts, and has also has great courage…” The other party fiddled with the dagger while saying a few words officials say to praise me.

They sound pretty nice, but were in fact pretty stereotypical and repetitive. My royal sisters were all “XX Princess has a gentle and kind nature, an elite women who excelled in painting and calligraphy, is a great musician…” and so on. But I was not gentle or kind, I was at most plainspoken. I was not an elite woman who excelled in painting and calligraphy, nor could I play an instrument. As a result, officials had no other choice but to reluctantly talk about my martial arts, as proof that I wasn’t someone who could not do anything…

“And I even know that your name is Jiao. Ah, good name, a clear moonlight…” He said casually.

“You are Prince Wumin?” I interrupted him.

He nodded: “Yes.”

Without saying another word, I charged forward and seized the dagger away from his hands. He actually did not dodge or hide, and allowed me to take the dagger.

Even though it was strange, I still pressed the dagger on his neck… or should I say, my neck.

Prince Wumin laughed: “You want to suicide?”

I coldly answered: “I might as well take you down with me.”

“Then have you ever thought that, if your body dies, what if my soul returns to my body after having no place else to go? If that happens, you’ll die, but I’ll be safe and sound… hrm?

“…” I rigidly clutched the dagger in my hand, “Is that even possible?”

“What do you think?” He was calm and composed, and made a cheap smile with my face, “Since even exchanging bodies is possible, I don’t believe that there is anything in this world that is impossible.”

In fact, I also felt that way too…

I slowly withdrew the dagger. Then, I pressed it against my neck: “Then I might as well just suicide. When your body dies, your soul wouldn’t be able to return.”

Prince Wumin raised his eyebrows: “You are quite resolute. East Yuan Country, a country meeting its final days, is it worthy of you doing this?”

“If it wasn’t for you indulging your soldiers to willfully massacre the people in territories you conquered, I wouldn’t have come to assassinate you.”

Prince Wumin pondered for a while, and then said: “If you suicide, I indeed cannot return. But don’t forget, even though I am currently in your body, my handwriting is still the same —— If you die, I will fake a blood letter, saying that it is someone from the East Yuan Country who killed me, and make West Yang Country’s soldiers avenge me —— once they attack East Yuan Country’s walls, they would immediately massacre the entire city, whether or not they surrender.”

That was my voice, my tongue, that was controlled by Prince Wumin to spout such malicious words. I grew infuriated: “You seriously have no face!”

“It’s your face anyway.” He said with a chuckle.

“…”

I kind of felt like recklessly throwing everything aside and taking him down with me…

In the next instant, Prince Wumin withdrew his smiling expression and said seriously: “Princess Changyi, no matter what, the current us cannot fighting with each other. Rather, we ought to cooperate — my royal father is critically ill, and my royal uncle, the King of Xiuyi is eyeing the throne. Even though I had confidence in myself, now that this sort of thing happened, if he seized the throne, then East Yuan Country’s people will definitely be helpless.”

“Then what should we do?”

“I will marry you.”

Prince Wumin looked at me, and said with a slight laugh: “Or should I say — You will marry me.”

“…………” This was the first time in my whole life that I felt like I had been struck by lightning. From the top of my head, straight to my neck I hurt all over…

“When Princess Changyi came to West Yang Country, she accidentally met West Yang Country’s Crown Prince, Prince Wumin. It was love at first sight for the two, at second sight, they fell in love again and on the third time, they determined their life together. Prince Wumin wants a beauty instead of a country, and willingly gives up the easily obtainable East Yuan Country.” Prince Wumin said a few long sentences as if he was repeating it from a book, “Princess Changyi, do you think this story is believable enough to convince the people?”

I answered really slowly: “This will depend on Princess Changyi’s appearance…”

Prince Wumin acknowledged that with a nod of his head. Then, he turned around, rigidly walked a few awkward steps, and looked at himself with the copper mirror.

Then, the copper mirror dropped to the ground.

He turned his head around, and lamented at me: “Princess Changyi, you look way too ordinary… without the slightest good looks of a woman that could ruin countries.”

I picked up the copper mirror and regretfully said: “I’m sorry that I look so ugly…”

Actually, in regards to my own looks, I never really thought much about it. But compared with those flowery and moon-like royal sisters of mine, I knew that I fell short of their beauty by a lot. Moreover, I never dress up before, and always presented myself without makeup. My clothes were also plain and simple. As long as they fit me, were snug, and allowed me to practice martial arts, they were fine. As for jewelry, I even more so, have never worn them before. Because the clanking sounds would completely expose my whereabouts.

I held of the copper mirror and took a look at myself. I almost scared myself to death, inside the mirror was a man with skin like jade, with phoenix eyes and sharp eyebrows. Even though there was a bloodstain on the forehead, it did not affect his appearance in the slightest. The black robe contrasting against his skin made him seem surreal. I couldn’t help but sigh “Prince Wumin, you, though, have a beauty that could ruin countries…”

Prince Wumin seized the copper mirror with a dark face: “If you say another word, we’ll just go die together then.”

“…”

“Whatever. With thirty percent looks and seventy percent make up, even if you look ordinary, you’re still not that ugly. If you dress up, at least you’ll be worthy of being looked at.” Prince Wumin sighed, “In short, we can’t be like this. I have to see my royal father in a while. Go call for someone to come in to freshen ourselves up.”

I nodded: “But, but, we have a greater problem at hand.”

Prince Wumin’s complexion did not look too good: “I know what you want to say, because I’m like that too.”

After daybreak, there would inevitably be dirty sediments of something inside the body waiting to be released. At present, we were exactly faced with this problem.

He thought for a moment and said: “I’m still alright, I promise to not look.”

I said: “I also promise to not look.”

Prince Wumin shook his head: “Do you want to… use the front or the rear?”

I felt a bit embarrassed: “The front.”

“When a man uses the toilet, he must stand.” He explained, “Furthermore, he must aim, and must use his hand to support…”

I stared blankly for a long time before suddenly shaking my head: “I don’t want to support! I’ll, I’ll just crouch to do it…”

Prince Wumin said awkwardly: “But, it will sprinkle out.”

I said angrily: “Why are you men so vulgar!”

Prince Wumin had a face of innocence: “What vulgar… how about this, you can close your eyes, and I’ll help you support…”

I drew out the corners of my mouth: “Then I’ll be dirtying my own body’s hand…”

Prince Wumin got annoyed: “Then what do you say we do?!”

I hesitated for a long time, and finally thought of a method… which is to get a rope and put it under that place, then use both hands on either side of the rope to lift it up. That should also be counted as supporting it…

In the end, we both agreed to this method. Only, I didn’t understand why there was a little bit of killing intent being released from Prince Wumin’s body…


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5 Responses to What’s Your Gender, Princess? 2

  1. Megan says:

    Lol! I love this already! ?

  2. Luna says:

    Thanks.
    Haha… so funny….

  3. Vivi says:

    Omg xD this is gold

  4. flayful says:

    It’s funny how I get to learn “How To Pee As A Man” in a novel. LOL.

    Prince Wumin must be thinking, how dare she feel disgust in touching my ‘little brother’? She’s not even worthy. LOL

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