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Chapter 3. Ahh… I’m Screwed… (13)
I managed to block a sword strike with my metal bat. S, she didn’t even use any energy yet! Why’s that blow so strong?!
I, is she actually a woman?!
-H, haahn… W, what’s this? A new feeling… a different kind of pleasure…
Oh fuck, this damn sadist is about to become a masochist as well. I must prevent this catastro…
“What about this, then?”
Never mind! Survival comes first!
Once again, I parried the downward stroke from the Sword Saint. This time, she used energy, but my metal bat should be able to take it!
“Kuh.”
Uaaaah! Hurts! I feel like my hand exploded! So what if the metal bat can take the blow? I can’t!
I managed to somehow endure this immense pain, but then I saw the Sword Saint grin hugely at me.
“You managed to take it? What about this, then?”
A life sword twice as big as before drew an arc towards my head. M, my room… Ah! I immediately changed the form of the metal bat into that of a long pole, and stabbed at a certain place next to the Sword Saint.
“Mn? What are you… what’s this?”
I took back the pole, and stepped back as I blocked her attack. The attack earlier was something that I shouldn’t have been able to block, but.
“…What in the world is this?”
The Sword Saint looked at her sword in confusion. The thing was still flowing with energy, but that energy was not as vibrant as before. Actually, the fact that it even contained any energy surprised me.
The place that I stabbed was my desk. To be more precise, it was the Life Sword Restrictor on the desk. It’s a device that temporarily cuts away an organism’s link to the earth and the sky.
Because of that, it should be impossible for a person to use the Life Sword… This must mean that woman has enough energy in her body to partially form a Life Sword?! How is that even making sense? Is she cheating?
But there was no time to ponder on that thought any longer. This was only a prototype. It could explode at any time! I, I need to finish this quick!
But I am a user of the club, while my enemy uses the sword. Of course, this weapon of mine is quite special, but the enemy is someone known as a Sword Saint. This person may actually be able to resist the metal bat.
I’ve only used this thing against little kids before… but my enemy this time is an expert. I might die after a single hit.
Even so, I still used my own sword arts. A simple stab transforms into a different form of an attack. That attack then changes yet again into a simple stab.
My sword arts are unconventional. It is something that I modified to fit my fighting style. It is not actually an actual sword arts. But sometimes, “sword arts” like these are better than actual sword arts!
I’ve managed to live so far by annoying, fooling, and tiring out my opponents. But.
“This is… no fun!”
The Sword Saint broke through my attacks immediately. There are actually less female soldiers than there are female knights. This is because women normally have lower physical abilities than men, which prevents them from utilizing energy too much. But this Sword Saint over here’s using energy in a place where it is completely restricted. I suppose you really can’t become a Sword Saint through pure luck, huh. Also, her being able to do this would mean…
Clang! Clang!
I’m screwed!
Uaaah! My hand!
-H, haahn… what’s this? It’s weaker than before, b, but… feels good…
Ahh… crap. Besides my hand hurting, that damned S is now an M as well. And… its voice is that of a young girl! W, what the hell! I feel like I’m gonna get arrested for this! I feel like I’m gonna be put on an electric chair for this!
[Please, just shut up!] -Hnnng~ I, insult me more!Gaaah! I’m gonna get arrested for sure!
I need to get out of this situation asap. Seeing how there’s this weird crackling noises coming from my desk, the device probably didn’t have much juice left.
If it turns off… that means I’d be greeted by that scary strong Life Sword again… Then…
“Haah!”
I smashed my foot against the floor. With that, the mysterious technology known as the spring got activated beneath the floor! The Sword Saint flinched a little, and that was all I needed.
Stab
Kuaaaa! Hurts! Damn it! I pushed my shoulder into the sword that was coming my way. Because of the residual energy inside the sword, my shoulder was stabbed through cleanly.
But with this, you cannot dodge my attacks now!
Vuun!
“Hup!”
The woman blocked the metal bat with her arm. But this thing isn’t something that can be blocked through normal means!
Crack!
The Sword Saint blocked my attack with her left arm. Now, she should…
“…”
Be screaming…
“…”
D, did it not work?
“…”
Can Sword Saints resist the metal bat or something? I’ve sacrificed my shoulder for this, though? Am I screwed? Am I royally screwed in the ass now? Dead?
As I thought all these thoughts, my eyes met with those of the Sword Saint’s.
The Sword Saint, who was staring at me with empty eyes, began to move her mouth.
“…Hue…”
Somehow, a sound that was far too cute for a woman over 40 came out of her mouth.
And once I saw that the Sword Saint’s eyes were beginning to water, I tightened my grip on my weapon.
“Time for your punishment.”
“Nhooo… Hurts…”
“You mean yes?”
Crack!
The metal bat strikes the unguarded waist full force! The Sword Saint falls down on her knees with a “Huaaa~”.
“I, I’m a fragile woman…”
“If you’re supposed to be fragile, I suppose knights are fragile enough to get blown away by the wind, huh?”
Crack!
“Haahn!”
-Aah… F, feels good!
[Just stay being an S, damn it!]
I didn’t stop beating the Sword Saint even as I shouted at my weapon.
Bang!
“Hoh…”
I suppose she really is a Sword Saint for a reason. Even when she was in great pain, she managed to dodge my attack. However.
Crack
“Haaahn~”
With that strike, the Sword Saint fell on her legs for good. I turned to the kids who were watching me with dumb faces through the door, and…
“…Close the door.”
“Right.”
“N, nhoooo! H, Hel… hahn!”
Crack!
I hit the Sword Saint one more time when I saw that she was trying to run. Being merciful because she’s a woman? Don’t joke with me. That thing’s no woman. It’s a Sword Saint. Why’d I be merciful when I can get sliced in half if I let my guard down?
-Where are you running, girl~ You can’t run away from this elder sis…
[She’s in her 40s.]
-Holy… what the heck… give me back my purity…
I ignored the metal bat that was screaming in pure sadness, and
Crack!
“H, hahn!”
Crack!
“H, huee…”
Crack!
“Hnng… Auuh…”
-M, master… I don’t like this.. I’m not into old women…
[She looks fine on the outside, though?]
-Then you shouldn’t have told me… sob… why…
[I felt like it.]
After I pushed away that moaning mess into a corner, I went into the room where the kids were.
“Hee!”
“…”
“H, hic!”
“I, instructor!”
What a reaction. Well, apart from that.
“Report.”
When I turned to Rein, he coughed a few times, and explained what was going on for me.
“Since the kids are direct descendants of nobles, the Organization’s trying to kill you. And since the Empire’s trying to trash the Organization, you’re about to become jobless.”
…He explained everything too well.
[she’s over 40]
“holy… What the heck… Give me back my purity…”
Best line ever!