92. Sealed superpower
I woke up in the morning with my back leaning to the wall.
Since then, I, without heading back to my room, stayed in front of her. While suppressing the feelings of wanting to run away desperately.
When I raise my head, I can see the figure of the girl glaring at me in silence.
On the other side of the long grown hair lives the flames of hatred that won’t stop burning.
「You should…have died just like that」
She said that, and averted her eyes for the first time.
I don’t know her name, and even if I ask her, she probably won’t tell me.
When I look at my status application, it displayed the time 『7:12』.
Since yesterday, although I have not ate anything, I don’t feel hungry at all.
My cheeks hurt.
After that, I was hit many times.
She straddled me and hit me over and over again.
I didn’t fight back. I didn’t even want to do so.
–I have no idea how many times I thought of dying.
「……I also, feel the same」
When I put my arms on my knees and stand up, I spit out the blood accumulated in my mouth.
I……don’t need food, but she most likely need it.
I usually asked Nee-san, but……she’s an Unknown. I must not let anyone from the Special Forces meet her.
「It’s my first time……to get a delivery service」
In my status application, there should be a large amount of electronic money accumulated from my Special Forces work up until now. Kaa-san said that before.
Upon seeing the stained floor, I sighed deeply.
「……I won’t run away. That’s why, go wash yourself. I’ll also treat you some food. That’s why–」
What returned was a clear refusal.
「I won’t…depend on you. I don’t need food. I don’t want any charity. I don’t want anything. I only want…your life」
By the unapproachable words, an unpleasant sound as if a heart was broken resounded.
「……Ah, I see」
I muttered softly.
I don’t……want to die.
If one were to ask me whether massacring the enemies is fascinating or not, I would probably answer 『No』 right away, but even so, it doesn’t mean that I want to die.
……No, I guess it does.
「I also, if I were to be killed by you…I’m fine with that」
That’s why, I let her hit me without fighting back.
Hit me until I faint.
–But it wasn’t enough to kill me.
To be honest, even if you want to kill me who won’t fight back, you’ll need to have at least a considerable strength. With her current young and weaken state, she could not do so.
I turned my back on her and walked to the entrance. I opened my mouth without looking back.
「……I 『can’t give』 everything inside the house」
That’s why, you can use it however you like.
There’s probably something edible in the refrigerator.
I push open the door, and look back at the small girl.
「I’ll come back once it’s dark」
I said that, and as if to escape from her eyes.
I left the house, heading to the battlefield.
On the very same day also, I showed up in the battlefield.
Last night, Shutendouji attacked this town.
Despite after just receiving a heavy blow, this time they attacked with even more in numbers whether they saw the life of Shutendouji killing countless Special Forces or not.
I’m told that now, Nee-san’s subordinate–well, in order words, my subordinate who’s a promising newcomer is heading there, and Kaa-san requested me to assist them.
I run through the battlefield in order to search for Nee-san and the rest.
I stop on top of a hill to survey the surroundings.
When I look down, I can see the large swarm of Unknowns, and the Special Forces who’re holding them out somehow.
Among them, Sana-san is there, and with just one swing of her sword, countless Unknowns died.
『Unknowns are alive. Well, of course humans don’t have the composure to ask the assaulting opponents 『Why are you attacking us?』. If they attacked me suddenly, then I might also kill them. ……But at least, you should think whether the opponents are good or evil, capable to communicate or not.』
Suddenly, I remembered those words.
「I guess……I should think」
This might be the first time for me to think this way before killing Unknowns.
Whether the opponents are good or evil. Capable to communicate or not.
If capable–the opponent is higher than Sacred Beast class.
And, not an evil Unknown.
……Does such opponent exist? I think about it suddenly, but.
「……Not until yesterday」
Yesterday, the me who kill existed.
My body trembled a little just by those words.
When I look at my right arm, I can see that I’m trembling. No matter how much strength I put into my hands, the trembling will not stop.
In order to hide it, I clenched my fists, and looked at the large army once again.
No matter how much I worry, I know that I can never get away from the road of killing.
I have killed this much.
I was stained by blood countless times, the blood dried countless times, and at the end, it dyed me in black.
Up until now, I thought that it was a matter of course and I was proud of myself as I’m protecting humanity–but it’s different now.
The person called Nagumo Iwato.
The name 【King of Black Coffin (Black Pandora)】.
I hate them from the bottom of my heart.
These hands that 『killed』 over and over again.
Although it’s a matter of course, it’s a clear sin.
My sin accumulates unconsciously, and when I realized it, it has become something that can never undone.
「–What’s left is just pure emptiness. Just that」
I said that and looked up at the sky.
In this world, there’s no one who have greater sins than me.
No one 『killed』 more than me.
……I don’t mean that I want to atone, but I will probably continue to live in this battlefield.
Treating the battlefield as a garden, I run about the battlefield, and spread deaths.
At the end–I would be resented and die.
My words are clogged in my throat.
I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die.
But I want to die right now.
While feeling such contradicting intention, I look behind.
I can see the swarm of weak Unknowns surrounding me, and I start to prepare using my superpower upon seeing them.
「First, let me inquire. Do you all have your own ego and a 『good』 heart that wishes for coexistence or peace?」
What returned was just their cries.
They probably can’t communicate.
Ever since my superpower awoken, I was always underestimated by the lower rank Unknowns. I won’t be surprised until I 『see』 a relatively strong Sacred Beast class Unknown, but–well, such thing is pointless now.
I couldn’t feel anything at all, and I stepped forward towards the swarm.
The enormous killing intent gushes out, and the Unknowns were all petrified by that.
In that opening–I started running.
With my arm cladding the superpower’s ability.
The ability of returning everything to zero just by touching.
It’s difficult to change my way of life now.
I can only kill, that’s why, even if my heart is on the verge of breaking after thinking various matters, I can only continue to kill.
That’s–the path of me myself who have blood-stained hands.
I who swung my arm fully a few meters before the swarm–
I realized that my superpower did not activate.
「I think you set a limit unconsciously due to stress」
The doctor said that a few minutes before.
Now, I’m sitting on a sofa at the hospital’s waiting room near the Special Forces Sapporo branch.
「……Iwato, did something happen?」
Kaa-san who sat beside me, asked me.
After that, I killed the Unknowns with my own body for the first time.
Break their neck.
I killed them with various means.
「……Nothing. Nothing much」
I said that softly and look downward.
I don’t want to face Kaa-san.
–Why you didn’t tell me that Unknowns 『are alive just like humans』?
Because I want to ask her so.
If I ask her, it probably will end.
Kaa-san who felt suspicion, will investigate around me, and if the girl is not found–she would search for her at home.
Then, that girl will probably……die.
That girl who had her father killed by me, would die because of me.
……I must not allow that to happen.
I don’t know what is right or wrong.
But I’m convinced that only that is wrong.
–I can’t consult with Kaa-san.
If I do so, it would be the worst case.
I’m convinced so.
That’s why, I can’t consult with anyone who have connections with Kaa-san.
Nee-san too, may tell her. Sana-san also impossible.
If it’s Tou-san……well, I don’t think he would tell Kaa-san, but I don’t know what he’s thinking. I don’t feel secure to consult him.
I will keep this feeling, this sin inside me.
Without revealing it to anyone.
Without making her existence public.
I will carry the sin forever.
I said that and raised my head.
Kaa-san who stared at me, opened her eyes wide upon seeing my eyes.
Perhaps, my face is different from usual.
Usually–I have my superpower, I don’t realize my sin, and I’m not sheltering an Unknown.
But now, I lost my superpower, I realized my sin, and I’m sheltering the victim.
……Seriously, humans can change a lot in just a day.
「From here on, you can just use me similar to the time when I have my superpower. I can’t use it now, but I have raised the power of existence in this body to some extent. ……That’s why, I can fight to some extent, and I can kill harmful Unknowns」
I plan to stay in the battlefield.
It’s selfish and arrogant if I don’t want to kill anymore after losing my superpower and realizing my sin.
Once I walked on this killing path, I can only continue to walk on this path.
And, one day, I will be killed by that girl.
That’s the minimal atonement
–for those who I have killed.