Chapter 348: The Hell is a Female Sword?
Disciple? What disciple?
Miao Bo frowned. He was extremely furious at this reckless chap who suddenly appeared. His mind was filled with revenge, and when his enemy was just right in sight, he was stopped by someone unrelated to this entire situation. It was natural for him to be enraged.
“What does your disciple have to do with me!? Scram!” He charged out. “Those who stop me, shall die!” Without even thinking, he flung out a mystic art. He was a Heavy Deity, and yet there was actually someone who was blind enough to dare stop him. He needed to let this chap know his place.
In the next instant, he truly understood his place.
Before Miao Bo could even react, he was bombarded silly by the tribulation lightning bolts that rained down from the sky. Like fried fish, he was zapped at the front and the back, three hundred sixty degrees with no dead angle to escape to. His entire body was completely numbed. When he regained his senses, he, a Heavy Deity, was zapped back to his original form – an Earth Deity. Like a pile of carbon lying on the ground, he no longer had the strength move.
However, he wasn’t the saddest person here.
“High Deity…” Thisthower Mountain Sect Master Feng Jin hugged onto Yu Yan’s leg with tears and snot coming out from his nose. “What happened to the half of the mountain that you promised not to touch?”
Only then did Yu Yan stop the tribulation lightning bolts that filled the sky. With the same icy tone, he asked. “Where’s my disciple?”
The moment she was flung out, Zhu Yao finally understood what the idiom “tearing the bridge apart after crossing it” meant. When Miao Bo was still an idiot back then, he would still bring her to look at the stars and moon, and even call her little sweety. Now that he had become successful and rich, he actually threw her away without a shred of hesitation. Thinking about this, Zhu Yao’s sword heart received ten thousands damage.
Zhu Yao had already made the preparations to enter the waters. Just as she was falling straight down and nearing the surface of the sea, she heard a dull thud. That’s right, it was not the splash from entering waters, but a thud.
“Aiyo!” Immediately after, a pained cry sounded. “Which bastard threw at me?”
“Eh? It’s a divine sword.” In the next instant, she was grabbed and raised in the air. The person who appeared before her was a blue-robed man wearing a jade crown on his head. His face was presently filled with anger. He looked up into the air and searched around. Then, he immediately cussed out. “Your granddaddy! Which bastard schemed against me and dared to assassinate me with a sword? If you have the guts, come and fight this granddaddy here in a fair match. What kind of a man are you by hiding yourself? Come right out here! Scram out in front of this granddaddy! Don’t you hide and keep your mouth shut. I know you’re there! Come out, come out, come out here!”
“The hell. Are you Aunt Xue?” His lines were exactly the same.
The man was stunned for a moment, and then he stared at the sword in his hand. “You can talk? There’s actually a divine sword that can talk? It can’t actually be the true form of some sort of spirit, right? Oh right, how did you know I’m Xue Yi?”
“The hell, you’re really called Aunt Xue, hey!?” Zhu Yao and her avatar were utterly stunned. “Wait a minute, you can hear me?”
“This daddy isn’t deaf, so why wouldn’t I be able to hear you?” Xue Yi glared at her, and then shook her about by the hilt. “Hurry and speak, who’s your owner? Why did he throw you at me? Hurry and call him out. If he has the guts, then come and fight me in a fair match.”
“Uh…” This guy is actually a violent maniac. “It’s not that someone threw at you, rather, I was thrown away by someone. When I fell, I bumped into you.”
“Lies!” Xue Yi instantly flared up. “This daddy has been in closed-door training for several hundred years, and I have never been discovered before. How could there be such a coincidence where you could land on me in a single throw?” He snorted, looking all cool and tyrannical. “Hmph. A second rank divine sword like you actually thinks of tricking me? Furthermore, a barrier has been placed on this sea floor. Your owner must have used some sort of method to throw you down here.”
As he spoke, he walked towards the transparent barrier that separated the seawater and pointed at it. With a proud look, he said. “I personally set this barrier up. Even if a late-stage Heavy Deity might not even break through it, let alone a terrible divine sword like you.” He then swung her towards the barrier, as though he was trying to prove the quality of his formation.
Zhu Yao’s blade slashed towards the front. Then, a crackling sound could be heard. It was the sound of something being slashed apart.
In the next instant, large amount of seawater gushed in as the barrier shattered resoundingly. It quickly flooded the entire isolated area.
A few moments later…
Above the boundless sea, the intense winds swirled into dark clouds, and between the dark clouds and the surface of the sea, Haiyan… ah pui! A human head popped out, with one hand clutching onto a floating log and a second rank divine sword with the other, his face was filled with shock!
He raised the sword up. A human and a sword silently stared at each other for ten seconds.
Something called ‘resentment’ began floating in the air.
“Uh…” Zhu Yao gave him a few seconds of silence. “I already told you, I was thrown down here.” If you don’t listen to the words of a divine sword, you will regret it, young man!
Xue Yi’s expression darkened. He gritted his teeth, and then stubbornly replied. “This granddaddy believe you!”
He cast the Light Body Art, and then leapt up from the wooden log. He moved quickly across the water surface, heading towards the northern side.
Wuaah, he’s using qinggong to float atop the water! At that moment, she felt that this unfortunate youth was pretty cool.
Xue Li leapt across the sea like a waterfly for half a day before arriving on dry land. The place he stopped at was an island.
“Why don’t you fly on a sword?” Zhu Yao asked.
“He turned to glare at her ruthlessly. “Do you think this daddy doesn’t want to? This daddy’s belongings are all in the water, alright?” It’s not like he did not want to fly on a sword, he had no swords to fly on!
“…” That’s what you get.
Xue Li rested for a short while, and then looked at Zhu Yao. “Hey, just what in the world are you? Clearly you’re a second rank divine sword, yet you’re actually able to break my barrier.”
“Uh… This is a tricky question.” Let her think of something to muddle her way through. “Actually… I’m not a sword.”
“Mn?” Xue Yi sized her up for a moment. “You can’t possibly be trying to tell me you’re a sabre, right?”
You’re the sabre, your entire family is made of sabres.
“I mean, I’m not a weapon at first.”
“Then what are you?”
Zhu Yao sighed, as she used all of the acting skills that she had learnt throughout her life. “Actually… I’m a princess…” Then she altered the ‘princess and the frog’ fairytale into a ‘prince and the divine sword (PS: a second rank one)’ story, and narrated it to him affectionately and enthusiastically. “So… As long as I can find the kiss of true love, I will be able to return.”
Xue Li’s face was like this: (￢_￢)
“It’s true, young man. You must believe divine arts!” Zhu Yao continued to brainwash him.
The corner of Xue Li’s lips twitched, and then asked seriously. “Is there the word ‘idiot’ written on my face?”
“Uh…” She hated intelligent people the most. When she was in the modern era, not a single one of the little brats on the street wouldn’t believe her.
“I think you must have been struck with a soul assimilation art right?” Xue Li analyzed. “And then, you were sealed in this sword?”
“Eh.” He sure made a precise guess.
“You want to return to your main body?”
“That’s right, that’s right, that’s right.”
“You want me to send you back?”
“That’s right, that’s right, that’s right.”
“Hell.” Then why the hell did you lead me on just now!
“Why do I have to send you back? There’s no merit for me at all.” He stretched his waist and said with a slovenly expression. “Furthermore, you were the one who destroyed my barrier. I don’t even have a place to stay in now.”
“…” You were clearly the one who slashed at it with your itchy hand.
“There were a good amount of treasures inside, you know? They were all there to prepare myself for the future. Even if you return to your divine body, you wouldn’t be able to pay… Wait a minute!” His words halted there, as though he had just thought of something. He turned to look at Zhu Yao on the ground, and then pointed at her with his trembling hand. “You… Y-Y-You’re a female sword?”
The hell is a female sword? Zhu Yao rolled her eyes and asked back. “You’re a male human?”
Xue Li did not reply, his entire figure was rooted to the ground. His entire body was stiffened tight, and that bronze-coloured face was beginning to be dyed with a strange red, which spread all the way to his ears.
“What happened to your face?” Zhu Yao asked.
However, it was as if he was startled, leaping up all of a sudden. He took a few steps back, and his eyes began to swim around. He glanced to the left and looked to the right, but he did not dare to look at the sword on the ground. “N… N… N-N-N… Nothing.”
“Why are you stammering now?”
He grew even more flustered and decided to turn around with his back facing her. His two hands crossed, and his two thumbs twiddled between each other. Female type. She’s actually the female type that mother spoke of. What should I do? I’m so anxious. This is the first time I’m interacting with their kind this close. Will she love me at first sight? She must definitely like my muscles, right? She definitely will.
“Hey!” When you’re muttering to yourself, don’t let me hear you, hey! What’s a female type? And who the hell likes your muscles?
“I… I… I…” He finally turned around, yet he was still stammering his words. “I will… s-s… send you b… ba… back.”
“No thank you!” She had a bad feeling.
“N… N… N-No need to be courteous.”
“…” Who wants to be courteous with you?
Heheh. She might like me after we develop our feelings on this journey.
“Who will like you? I have a man already, alright? Also, those inner thoughts of yours, can you please keep them to yourself?”
“W… Where do you want to g… go?”
“Don’t act like you didn’t hear me, hey! I don’t want to go anywhere!”
He however had already walked over to her. He wanted to reach out to hold her, yet he figured that it wouldn’t be prudent enough. He tore out half of his long robe, placed her on the fabric, and then carefully tied her up.
“Is… Is… Is it… to the east?” He held up Zhu Yao with a shy face. Then, he once again circulated the Light Body Art, and headed in the eastern direction.
Zhu Yao: “…”
She seemed to have been kidnapped by a single puppy.
“Divine sword maiden, there’s a divine city over there. Shall we snatch a house and stay there for a while?” Xue Yi said to the sword in his hand fawningly.
“Snatch?” Are you a bandit?
“Don’t worry, I came here before.” Xue Yi explained with a serious look. “The houses here are really easy to snatch.”
“…” What did you do in the past?
As Xue Yi spoke, his figure flashed and arrived at the gate to the divine city. In order to prove his words, he enthusiastically greeted the Deity practitioner protecting the gate. “Yo, long time no see!”
That Deity practitioner’s face instantly paled and he immediately ran into the city, as though he had just seen a ghost. As he ran, he shouted loudly. “Hurry and run! That bastard surnamed Xue is back!”
The city that was still bustling with activities earlier instantly quietened down. In the next moment, every single person did the same thing. They took out their flying swords, rose into the air, and fled wildly in all directions. Not a single one of them turned around to have a glance.
In just a few minutes, not even a single human figure could be seen in the small city.
This escape speed they displayed was even faster than a regular evacuation drill.
Zhu Yao glanced at the person next to her. “Please hold onto your chest and tell me, just what did you do to these people?”
“Nothing much.” Xue Li said innocently. “I’ve only came here thrice. During the first time, I wanted to stay in the city lord’s residence, but he didn’t let me, so I beat him up. The second time, I wanted to try some wine, but that person said to pay him divine stones for it, so I beat him up too. The third time, they didn’t allow me to enter the city, so… I beat up everyone in the city. Just like that. I didn’t really do much either.”
“…” Don’t treat beating people up like eating a meal, hey! If that isn’t much, just what in the world would he do if he put in a little more effort?
“Divine sword maiden, which house do you want to live in? Pick whichever you want!” Xue Li spread out his arms. At that moment, it felt as though he was possessed by a tyrannical CEO and the entire divine city was his territory.
Is this guy in the mafia? Can I resign please? “Aunt Xue, I’m a divine sword, I don’t need to rest.”
“Ou!” He lowered his head in disappointment. So unfortunate, mother told me that if I give a female type something, she will like me, love me, and desire me!
“… Call your mother out, I want to talk to her about life.” I already told you many times not to speak out your inner thoughts! Don’t think that I can’t hear you without those quotation marks!
“Then, divine sword maiden. Let’s replenish some of our necessities, and then continue on our way.”
“…” Did you activate the ‘Automatically Shield Off Anything That I Don’t Want to Hear’ ability?
Xue Yi walked into a divine artifact store and glanced around. He took away a fifth rank flying sword from the most sealed cabinet that was furthest away from the store entrance. Then, he leisurely returned to the lobby and casually took away all of the fourth rank, third rank, second rank… and first rank divine artifacts.
Before he left, he even took away the storage rings inside the counter’s drawers.
Zhu Yao silently lit a candle for the store owner.
Zhu Yao had thought that he would fly on his sword and leave the city, but he instead made his way into a pharmacy on the left, the talisman store on the right, and the formation store in the opposite street. Finally, he even entered a material store. Like sweeping away the autumn leaves, he swept everything into the storage rings in his hands. Only when he was no longer able to store them in, did he stop with a regretful look.
He stroked the rings in his hand. “Haah, it’s lacking a little.”
“…” Zhu Yao really wanted to cuss out in place of the residents of this divine city: Your sister!
“Divine sword maiden, we can leave now.” Xue Lin found a white divine yarn handle, and hung her on his body. It was not on his back, but right in front of his chest. It looked especially stupid. “Oh right, where do you want to go?”
“East!” Zhu Yao had already given up all form of resistance, after all, he would automatically shield away anything that he didn’t like to hear. She thought that she might as well go along with him until she return to Lightning Divine Palace.
“Alright!” Xue Li summoned the fifth rank flying sword he stole. Just as he was about to leave, a Heavy Deity pressure suddenly assaulted in their direction. Xue Li wasn’t able to stabilize himself, and he ended up kneeling onto the ground.
“Shameless heretic Deity, you actually dare to act so wantonly here.” A mighty voice resounded from above their heads.
Aunt Xue(雪姨): She is a character in Romance of the Rain, a Chinese drama filmed in 2000. The character’s full name is Wang Xueqin, a devious and power hungry woman. The pun here is that the Chinese for aunt(姨), Yi, sounds the same as 夷 in Xue Yi’s name 血夷.