Chapter 344: Stupider Than an Idiot
This was a room. There were very dim rays of light seeping through, and occasionally, ashes would fall from the ceiling. There were several large chains all around, intersecting and straightened, filling up the entire room. Though countless broken divine weapons filled the ground, there were still faint traces of them emitting out minuscule amount of divine energy. This seemed to be a weapon storage, and looking from its degree of tear-and-wear, it had already been a long time since someone came.
Zhu Yao blanked out for exactly ten seconds. Where was she? She tried touching her strangely heavy body. Did she change avatars again? The hell, what happened to the promised vacation?
Before she could even figure out the situation, a loud bang was heard. The stone door in front slowly rose and the entire room began to shake. Following after a few crackling sounds, lines of cracks began to appear and dusts began to fly around in the room. Eye-piercing rays of sunlight shot in, blinding her in an instant.
A man came running in. He had a fatigued look, and his entire body was covered in dirt and soot. His right arm seemed to be injured as well, as it was currently dripping fresh blood. He anxiously looked around, as if he was looking for something. Suddenly, his line of eye fixated on her.
“Yo! Good morning!” Zhu Yao greeted.
The man was stunned for a moment. A strange luster instantly shone from his eyes right after as he exclaimed. “Swuack!”
“…” The hell, is he cussing at me?
The man suddenly charged over.
“What are you trying to do?” Zhu Yao’s heart shook. That man however ignored her, and with a turn, he actually stood behind her. Just as she was about to express her anger, he actually balled up and squatted down.
What’s this for?
“Where is he?” A few furious voices could be heard from outside, and there were even some cusses mixed within.
“We clearly saw him heading this way, how did he disappear?”
“He must be nearby. Search carefully.”
So he’s actually hiding.
“Why are you hiding behind me?” Was it really fine to deceive himself like this? “It’s not like they are blind, they will notice right away, you know? Also, who are you?”
As expected, in the next instant, three Deity practitioners, two men and one woman, appeared at the doorstep. They looked as if they were possessed by the gods of fury, and all three of them were Gold Deities.
Great! She immediately surrendered. “Hi~ If I say I’m just a passerby, will you guys believe me?” I’m not related here, I don’t know anything.
The three of them furiously walked in, their eyes fixated on her, and then… moved away.
“Why isn’t there anyone? This tattered stone building is the only thing around this place.”
“We can look through this place with a single glance. He’s not here. Let’s head back and look again.”
Thus, the three of them turned around… and left… left… left!
The hell, there are actually people who are that blind!
When the three people left, the man behind heaved a long sigh of relief. He sprawled on the ground like mud, and then turned to look at her. On his face that was filled with dirt, a smile surfaced. “Thank you.”
“…” No, you should be thanking those three people for being blind.
The man sized her up for a moment, the luster in his eyes grew even brighter. “I knew that you would be a good swuark.”
“The hell, who are you cussing at?” Zhu Yao was instantly enraged. “You’re a swuark, your entire family are swuarks!”
The man laughed out loud and then suddenly reached out for her.
“What are you doing?” Zhu Yao’s heart sank. She wanted to dodge on reflex, only to realize she could not move her body at all. She was stuck?
She actually did not have the slightest bit of energy to resist, and could only watch as he raised her up. Then, she was held up by his two hands, as he swept his eyes across her. He flicked his finger at her, emitting out a clear and crisp ring. “It’s actually a second rank. I knew you would definitely be a peerless divine sword.”
What did you say?
Zhu Yao was stunned as she looked into his eyes. What reflected within those sparkling pupils was a pitch-black second rank divine sword covered in rust. The “stup” from the word “stupid” was even engraved on the hilt of the sword.
Hello everyone, I’m Zhu Yao. Just a few hours ago, I was still enjoying my perfect vacation. I sipped on divine wine, ate a lovely meal dedicated to me, and even picked up a handsome guy. Just as I was about to do something embarrassing to develop our feelings further than just friends, and had even stripped down our respective pants, I died.
Then, I turned into a low-grade second rank divine sword with a stupid front. Furthermore, I was even picked up by a male Earth Deity even stupider than her.
The idiot had most likely never seen the vastness of the world, as he held onto her like treasure and quickly flew out of that dark room. Fortunately, he had his own flying sword, otherwise, even if she was beaten to death, she wouldn’t want him stepping on her.
He flew very quickly, exiting that forest and passing through two small cities in short while. Only when the sun was about to set did the idiot stop by a small riverside. He began to size up Zhu Yao thoroughly, and the more he looked, the more excited he became. He looked at the blade over and over again, and even his breathing was becoming a little ragged. Growing a little impatient, he cast the Dirt Removal Art.
Zhu Yao simply felt her body turning light as the rust that were stuck on her blade began to peel off inch by inch, revealing a bright and pure-white blade, along with the numerous ancient yet simple marks: Stupstupstupstupstup…
Zhu Yao seriously wanted to retort: Heck, heck, heck, heck, heck, heck…
“This sword definitely possess an ability to conceal presences.” The eyes of the man shone. “Great, I finally have my own weapon from now on.”
“Hey, who says I’m going to become your weapon?”
The man gazed at the blade a little agitatedly, his eyes were filled with the luster of excitement. Great! It seems he can’t hear me at all.
His excitement grew as he looked at the sword, and he unconsciously pulled up the corner of his robes and rubbed it a few times. Because of that… her entire face was now plastered with mud.
The hell, if you know how to use the Dirt Removal Art, don’t you know how to use it on yourself? As I thought, this person must be an idiot, right!?
The man was stunned for a moment, as though he had realized he had instead dirtied the sword. He immediately cast a Dirt Removal Art, but still decided to use it on the blade first. Seeing that the dirt that stained it had all disappeared, he then moved to tapping on himself.
“With this, on this day, I will definitely…”
“Definitely what?” A dark and solemn voice suddenly rang behind him.
The man’s body shook, and even the mystic symbols on his finger had all scattered. He stood rooted to the ground while the colours on his face drained, tightening the grip on the sword hilt.
“I never expected that you would actually return alive!” That voice continued. “Not bad.”
Though they were affirmative words, there was not the least bit intent of praise within them.
The man tightened his grip on the sword further as he began to slightly tremble and grit his teeth. A moment later, he took a deep breath and bent down, respectfully greeting the incoming person. “Master.”
“Mn.” That person coldly responded.
Only then was Zhu Yao able to see his face clearly. He was an elderly dressed in a long, navy-blue robe. He looked extremely skinny and deep wrinkles filled his face, exuding a gloomy and unkind demeanour.
“What’s that in your hands?” The elderly narrowed his scornful eyes at the man.
The man frowned for a moment, his hands continued to tremble. Finally, he took a step forward, dragging his hands up, he passed it to the person in front of him. “I hope master can forgive me, this disciple failed to find the Divine Spiritual Herb during my trip to the Forest of Separation this time. I merely found this divine sword by accident.”
With a flip of his hand, the sword that was once in the man’s hand was now held by the elderly. “Second rank divine sword?” He frowned, a hint of scorn flashed across his eyes. He suddenly struck out a palm at the man, instantly blowing him a few meters away, and he landed merely an inch away from the river. “Useless thing! I told you to look for divine herbs, yet you brought back something tattered like this. A mere second rank divine sword has actually made you giddy with excitement? To the point where you would ignore the mission your master has given you?”
The man crawled up from the ground, and evidently, he had received grave injuries. Yet, he still knelt down with head close to the ground. “Master, please forgive me. This disciple knows his wrongs.”
“Hmph!” The elderly snorted. “Continue with your search.” After saying that, he no longer cared about the man on the ground, as he summoned out his divine sword and flew off. Yet Zhu Yao, the divine sword which he claimed to be tattered, was held onto by him, with no intentions of returning to the man.
It seemed like these two did not have a good master-disciple relationship! Wasn’t the Forest of Separation the place that connected the Demonic Immortal Continent and Deity Continent? The level of danger there was far from norm. Zhu Yao could not figure out the identities of the two people.
That elderly brought her to a celestial realm, a place filled with divine mountains that were as tall as the sky, enveloped by auspicious clouds. He flew straight towards the peak, and the place was actually filled with solemn looking pavilions and mansions.
He flew straight down and then made a right turn towards the side mansion. Zhu Yao faintly saw the word Thisthower written on the mountain gates.
As the elderly made his way to the side mansion, the nearby several disciples dressed in the long same navy-blue robes would bow down and greet him.
“Greetings to Pavillion Lord Fan.”
“Mn.” The elderly seemed to have instantly retracted his cold gaze and was actually responding with smiles. He walked straight towards a cave residence and stopped at the front door. Glancing at the divine sword in his hand, he then turned towards the courtyard at the back, pulled open a door, and threw Zhu Yao in.
Zhu Yao felt her body turning light and her vision blurring. With a few clanging sounds and a few rolls, she then crashed into something and stopped. After having a closer look, she realized this was a weapon storage. The place was filled with various divine artifacts, from the first to fifth rank.
Zhu Yao suddenly felt like crying. Was she going to be to stored here? Wouldn’t it be better to be with that idiot from earlier then? At the very least, she would be able to go to different places. She couldn’t move at all right now!
Master… Where are you? Your disciple has fallen off!
“Hey, you’re pressing on me.” Suddenly, a grumble was heard.
Zhu Yao was shocked. She looked around, but she couldn’t see anyone at all. Was she hearing things?
“Hey, I’m talking to you, newcomer!” That voice once again sounded.
“Here, here! Below you.”
Zhu Yao lowered her head to take a look. Pressing beneath her blade was a fourth rank hammer-shaped divine artifact.
“You can talk?” Zhu Yao was utterly stunned. It turned into a spirit?
That hammer flashed with a divine glow for an instant. “If you can talk, why can’t I? Hurry and roll off this great one’s body.”
“Uh…” The hammer sure had a haughty attitude.
“Enough, Skybreaker! Stop bullying the newcomer already, can’t you see it’s just a second rank divine artifact? It’s already tough enough for her to talk.” A female voice sounded from the side. Zhu Yao turned to the source of the voice, and it was actually a wooden comb.
“Hmph!” The hammer snorted. The divine glow from its body grew brighter, and then, it flew while lifting Zhu Yao off it. It then flew onto a weapon rack and no longer spoke.
“Don’t be afraid, newcomer.” The wooden comb kindly said. “We are all neighbours now.”
“That’s right, that’s right. Newcomer, are you a sword?” The dagger at the side said.
“We have very few swords here, you’re the only one here right now.” A fan divine artifact said.
“That’s right, you’re the first sword I’ve seen since I came out of the furnace.” A silk veil divine artifact said.
“Sword, what’s your name?”
“Sword, I’m Saber. What’s yours?”
“You dummy. She’s a sword, so of course she’s called Sword.”
“…” You guys are swuarks, your entire families are swuarks!
“Hi Sword, I’m Spear.” The long red spear at the entrance said.
“Hi Sword, I’m Flute.” The flute on the rack said.
“Hi Sword, I’m Fan.” The fan on the rack said.
“Hi Sword, I’m…” The black rock at the corner said. “Material!”
Zhu Yao: “…”
Can anyone let me know what’s going on with this room? Why are there so many weapons and even materials here that can talk? Did I unlock some sort of unique ability again?
“Sword, ignore Skybreaker. He has a bad temper like that.” Seeing that she wasn’t talking, the wooden comb softly consoled.
The other divine artifacts began to follow up as well.
“That’s right, that’s right. He’s just jealous.”
“Our names have such nice rings to them, he’s the only one which is slightly irregular.”
“That’s right. He’s actually called Skybreaker. It’s extremely terrible to hear, you know.”
“It’s not as pure as my name ‘Club’.”
“Uh…” The corner of Zhu Yao’s lips twitched. “It’s pure alright!”
“Isn’t it, isn’t it? I think so too. Your name ‘Sword’ sounds really good too, though it can’t be compared to mine, it’s already pretty decent.”
“…” Why, thank you!
“Enough!” Skybreaker which was on the rack suddenly flared up. It leapt down and then roared its lungs out. “Skybreaker is the name that old man came up with, my real name is Hammer! Hammer! I’m a hammer!”
Zhu Yao: “…”
The divine artifacts seemed to have already gotten used to the hammer’s roars, as they continued to chat up the newcomer Zhu Yao with zeal.
The dagger flashed and spoke. “Sword, do you like to emit light? I like to emit light the most. Let us be friends.”
The dagger was stunned, and in an instant, it dimmed quite a bit. “Why?”
“Have you never heard of this?” Zhu Yao nobly said. “Do not mess with swords.”
Zhu Yao blanked out in the divine artifact storage for an entire day. Other than the various divine artifacts which wielded otherworldly common sense, she did not spot a single human figure at all. She suddenly grew a little anxious, as she wondered how her master was doing. She tried to take in divine energy like how she did when she was a divine jade back then, only to realize that she couldn’t cultivate at all. Forget about taking in divine energy into her body, she couldn’t even sense any divine energy at all. She then tried to bathe in moonlight, yet she realized it was still ineffective.
In a few moments, she lost all motivation. How was she going to play now?
Could it be that she had to stay here, till someone takes her away or till her master finds her?
From the looks of the Deity practitioner with the surname Fan, he seemed to scorn a second rank divine artifact like her. Furthermore, he he was a stingy person that would not let go of a single cent, seeing how he would even snatch away his disciple’s weapon. The possibility of him gifting a weapon to someone else was basically zero.
What to do?
Suddenly, an extremely soft creak sounded from the door. A black figure entered in a flash. He looked around anxiously, and then, his line of sight landed on her. In an instant, his eyes shone.
Idiot! Why is he here?
- There’s this joke where the Chinese for ‘Sword’ (剑) sounds like the Chinese for ‘cheap’ or ‘despicable’ (贱). So I was looking around for profanities that rhymed with ‘sword’ or ‘blade’, but I couldn’t. So… I made up the word ‘swuarks’.