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Chapter Eleven The Video
If it wasn’t for Lei Shen Ni Ni’s bombardment of messages, Wei Wei thought she would stand until the end of time.
Of course, the so-called end was just lights out at the dorm >o<
Lei Shen Ni Ni: Wei Wei send me the video send me send me.
Wei Wei: What video?
Lei Shen Ni Ni: Your husband’s one-sided beat-down of Zhen Shui. The video of the duel! I bought tickets to watch but they didn’t allow recordings.
One sided beat-down… …Wei Wei was embarrassed by the description: “My Nai He is very gentle … …”
The moment she typed it, Wei Wei felt embarrassed by herself. Why did she have to add in before Nai He “My”?!!
>o< It was definitely the influence of Yu Gong and the rest. They frequently called them by “Our sansao” or “Your Nai He”. Wei Wei hexian and deleted the sentence. She typed again: “You actually bought a ticket!”
Watching duels required spending money to buy tickets. It was another sadistic aspect of [Dreams of Jianghu]. After buying the ticket, you had to click the doorway of the palace which then transported the player to the setting for the duel. Usually, the higher the levels of the participating players, the more expensive the tickets were. Of course, not all duels attracted spectators.
Lei Shen Ni Ni: Zhen Shui was beaten so badly, he wouldn’t release the recording. Your husband definitely recorded it.
Wei Wei: … … He didn’t record.
This question didn’t even need to be asked. Based on her understanding of Da Shen, he wouldn’t record such a meaningless battle.
Lei Shen Ni Ni: Aaah, I was so nervous that I didn’t even take screenshots. I want to die. And I came too late. I just saw the system announce the duel, I didn’t even see the rumoured challenge. Ahh, regret it so much.
Wei Wei: Better than me. I’m the rumoured female lead yet I didn’t get to see anything.
Lei Shen Ni Ni: Hahaha, I feel much better now. System notice screenshot here. You want, I’ll sent you.
Wei Wei: Okay.
Wei Wei sent over her email address within the game. A short while later, she received the letter. In the letter, there was one picture, just the system’s announcement of the duel.
Wei Wei magnified the screenshot. The first line was the system announcing Nai He’s formal challenge. After that, every five minutes, the system announced the response of the challenged.
System: Yi Xiao Nai He challenges Zhen Shui Wu Xiang to duel upon The Forbidden Purple Summit.
System: Zhen Shui Wu Xiang has not accepted the challenge.
System: Zhen Shui Wu Xiang has not accepted the challenge.
… …
After five more lines.
System: Zhen Shui Wu Xiang has accepted the challenge.
System: Yi Xiao Nai He and Zhen Shui Wu Xiang will duel upon the Forbidden Purple Summit at 20:00.
It was just a few lines, just cold and unfeeling system announcements but Wei Wei reread it multiple times. Gradually, she started to feel excited.
She couldn’t stop her emotions, after looking at the white-robed Nai He standing beside her, she hesitated for three seconds, then very embarrassedly, broke the atmosphere: “Da Shen … … Would you come PK with me with your divine pet, just one round >o<”
Nai He misunderstood, and just thought she was bored. He reconstructed the team and said: “Let’s go, We’re going to kill a boss.”
“Which one?”
“Meng Dong Xing, Yu Gong is calling us over.”
Hou Zi Jiu and the others were super lucky today. They were just resting at the base of the mountain and the super difficult to find but still had to be found Meng-boss decided to take his stolen betrothal gift and throw himself in their arms.
When Wei Wei and Nai He had returned to Verdant Mountains, Hou Zi Jiu and the others were already in battle. Nai He immediately went forward and started healing. Wei Wei hesitated in the back and didn’t join the battle.
Yu Gong yelled: “Saozi, don’t stand by and watch us die.”
Wei Wei knew that the three of them were more than capable even by themselves. Calling for her was just so she could share in the experience. So she sent a smiley face and said: “You guys fight. If I join, his attacks become stronger.”
Speaking of it, Meng-boss was an eccentric. If there were only female players attacking, he would “protect the fairer sex” by lowering the attack strength by half. That was the only reason Wei Wei had managed to take him down by herself. But if both male and female players were attacking him, he would, “due to jealousy”, increase the strength of his attacks by half. It was only when there were only male players that his attack strength was normal.
Yu Gong and the others were basically a purely male team and hadn’t known this before. When they heard Wei Wei say so, they became very curious, rather than being deterred.
“I heard that this guy would flirt with female players. I haven’t seen it before, saozi you go chop and let me see.”
Wei Wei hexian upon hearing it. She still did as requested and joined the battle. As expected, a chop attack on Meng-boss caused an increase in the attack strength and activated the power “Flaming Flames of Jealousy.” It burned Yu Gong and the others so much that their health suddenly dropped.
At the same time, atop of Meng-boss’s head arose several lines of text: “Such a good beauty, not living properly in her chambers but coming out to Jianghu and playing with weapons. Why don’t you join me? I guarantee you will be very satisfied.”
Hou Zi Jiu: Kao! It’s really propositioning.
Yu Gong Pa Shan: How dare he proposition saozi, kill him a hundred times!
And then, the pitiful Meng-boss was attacked a hundred times over … …
The moment Meng-boss fell to the ground, officials appeared and took him away. They left behind the princess’s wardrobe. Hou Zi Jiu was the most curious, stealing it over and took a look, almost falling to the ground right after.
Yu Gong asked: “What is it? If it’s equipment, give it to saozi.”
Hou Zi Jiu: If I gave this to saozi, Nai He will butcher me.
Nai He: What is it?
Hou Zi Jiu: Men’s hair.
Yu Gong Pa Shan: … …
Hou Zi Jiu: The Princess’s lover’s hair, no attributes.
Everybody sweated. They didn’t think that this kind of thing would happen to them.
Yu Gong Pa Shan: It’s still better than Dong Fang Bu Bai’s knife.
Hou Zi Jiu: And better than the Crone of E Mei’s foot wrapping [1]”
Mo Zha Ta reviewed their actions: “Was it because we were too brutal?”
Seeing that Wei Wei hadn’t said anything, Hou Zi Jiu said: “Is saozi too disappointed?”
Wei Wei: >o<no, after travelling so long in the Jianghu, I already lost my desire for worldly goods… …
Mo Zha Ta: … …
Yu Gong Pa Shan: Why do I feel that this tone is very familiar?
Hou Zi Jiu: Like Nai He?
Mo Zha Ta: Not really. Nai He would never be narcissistic in his words. He’s a narcissist in his heart.
Nai He sent a sighing expression: “It’s the environment of you guys. Like the ink contaminating its surroundings black [2]. After this, I cannot allow her to interact with you guys anymore.”
Wei Wei: Yup, I am being influenced by you guys … … Uh, I was thinking about the video thing earlier.
Wei Wei: I want to do a video too.
Hou Zi Jiu: . . . . . .
Wei Wei: Meng-boss gave me inspiration … …
Since it was inspired by Meng-boss, it obviously had something to do with bandits.
Wei Wei’s story was like this.
Lu Wei Wei Wei was a female bandit that had claimed the mountain as her own.
Yi Xiao Nai He was a weak minstrel.
One day, Yi Xiao Nai He passed by a certain mountain, got noticed by the female bandit, and thus was kidnapped to the mountain to become the bandit husband.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen later. I just thought of it when attacking Meng-boss. We could use Meng-boss’s lines directly.”
Hou Zi Jiu: So joining the contest?
Wei Wei: En, I suddenly thought it would be quite fun. But it’s just me playing around, a sudden impulse.
Nai He didn’t say anything but repeated Wei Wei’s words: “The bandit husband?”
Wei Wei assumed that he was irritated by it, and was about to say that it was okay not to do it when she saw him ask: “Is it that when the kidnapping occurs, I just lie down?”
>_<
It looked like she had seriously underestimated the resilience of Da Shen’s mind. Wei Wei said: “Basically yes.”
Actually, she wasn’t too sure herself. At the moment, she was just making it up.
Nai He: Let’s tape.
Nai He: Verdant Mountains is pretty good. The kidnapping can take place here.
Da Shen answered it so straightforwardly, and moved with such initiative and speed, Bandit Wei Wei suddenly had the feeling she was being forced to kidnap him.
In a blink, Da Shen had started systematically breaking down the scene and dividing the labor: “I’ll walk past the mountain at the bottom, you come through the woods on the horse, everybody record their part, at the end, we can just edit it together and then it’s done.”
Under Director Nai He’s orders, Wei Wei dazedly got on her horse.
Yu Gong jumped out: “Director, we want to act too.”
Hou Zi Jiu: It doesn’t work if the female bandit doesn’t have any attendants. We’ll be saozi’s attendants.
Wei Wei refused: Not needed.
Hou Zi Jiu cried out in pain: “Why!”
Wei Wei: >_< Unaccompanied looks cooler.
Yu Gong said: “No, no, you can’t do it this way. There has to be fighting. How about we’ll be Nai He’s bodyguards and then saozi you can defeat the three of us. This way, it’s more spectacular.”
This time, Yu Gong’s suggestion finally got everybody’s agreement. Mainly it was that it received Nai He’s approval. These people were full of initiative and very efficiently decided everything. It was just Wei Wei, who had made the suggestion of making the video in the first place, who was still muddled. In the end, Wei Wei had to be pushed along like ducks being forced onto the truck, to go into the woods [3].
In the woods, Wei Wei sat astride on the hose and became very nervous.
When it came time for Nai He to pass by at the kidnapping location, she became even more nervous.
The result of that nervousness was that Wei Wei rushed in front of Nai He but forgot the lines of Meng-boss’s rude preposition >_<, so Wei Wei thought frantically and could only make minor changes to the most ancient bandit lines.
This mountain is opened by me,
This tree was grown by me,
To pass through this road,
Leave behind the men!
After the opening lines, the next lines should have been Yu Gong coming up and swearing at her before the fighting starts. But Yu Gong’s avatar did not move. Wei Wei waited a long beat and asked curiously: “Where’s Yu Gong?”
Hou Zi Jiu serenely said: “He fell down from his chair.”
[1] 峨眉老太: The sect of 峨眉 (E Mei) was one of the more frequent ones in novels involving Jianghu. It was an all female sect in the Condor Trilogy, also by Jin Yong. It was founded by Guo Xiang, daughter of Guo Jing and Huang Rong. The sect was located at Mount Emei which is an actual tourist spot with many different attractions such as a golden Buddha and mountain monkeys.
[2] 近墨者黑: person near ink becomes black.
[3] 赶鸭子上轿: perversion of 赶鸭子上架pushing ducks into the racks/shelves. Ducks do not climb up onto a truck of their own will, unlike chickens. They have to be “encouraged” to accomplish the task. The reason is that ducks are not used to living in racks. In this case, the shelf was exchanged for a carriage/sedan, more specifically a marriage sedan is implied.
Haha, that bandit line was so funny! I might have fallen from my chair as well. Thanks for the chapter!