Chapter 267 – Can’t protect you anymore
When he first opened his eyes, everything was black in front of him. Faintly came the light of the flames, and when he adapted to the light, he finally saw clearly the person in front of him.
“En.” Hearing clearly the little fellow’s words, Xiao Xu wanted to speak but discovered his throat was so dry he couldn’t utter a sound, so he could only gave soft ‘En’ sound.
She had continuously observed Big Block of Ice’s state, seeing him uncomfortably purse his lips, she immediately turned and brought over a water canteen. “Big Block of Ice, you had too much blood loss, you ought to be thirsty now. Come, I’ll help you drink some water.”
Very carefully she lifted up his head, then placed the canteen at the side of his lips.
Xiao Xu didn’t speak and obediently opened his mouth to drink several mouthfuls of water.
Chu Qing-Yan put the canteen down and used her sleeves to wipe away the water stain at the side of his lips. “Big Block of Ice, do you feel a little bit better?”
“En, what about other people?” Although his voice was somewhat hoarse, but it didn’t hinder him from speaking.
She had already anticipated that he would ask this once he woke up. She immediately recited out the words she had prepared before. “Earth Spirit brought people to explore the situation, to check whether there are still enemies in the surrounding. Fire Spirit is deploying the troops for tasks. Air Spirit went to help the injured guards wrap up their wounds.”
Xiao Xu gave several light coughs. “How many people are left right now?”
Chu Qing-Yan immediately reached out to help him breathe better, pursed her lips, and hesitated a bit before giving a light sigh. “15 people.”
When they left the capital, a hundred Xiao Lie Cavalry members rode out hidden in the dark, this didn’t include the guards out in the open. But now, the people that remained couldn’t even scrap together a small portion, just now she really wanted to conceal it from him. She was afraid that Big Block of Ice would be worried, thus implicating his body. But under Big Block of Ice’s strong burning gaze, even if she wanted to change the subject, she couldn’t do it.
When the person in her arms heard this, as expected, his eyes dimmed.
“Big Block of Ice, don’t feel sad. Right now, the most important thing is for you to be calm and stress free. You must not have any ups and downs in your mood. Air Spirit said once your mood fluctuates too much, it would aggravate the poison in your body and make it spread faster.”
Those were all people Big Block of Ice had personally selected. She knew his heart wasn’t feeling good. But besides persuading him to be calm, she couldn’t say anything else.
Between life and death, all words paled in comparison.
“They all died because of me.” Xiao Xu closed his eyes, his tone was full of self blame.
“Big Block of Ice, they had already made the sacrifice, you shouldn’t blame yourself. To protect you is their wish, you shouldn’t let their sacrifice be in vain.” Chu Qing-Yan held him, shaking her head with nothing to say as tears flowed down.
“Qing-Yan, you don’t need to comfort me.” Xiao Xu self mockingly said.
“I’m not comforting you.” Chu Qing-Yan said, choked with sobs. “Big Block of Ice, don’t blame yourself, don’t feel sad, continue to live on well okay? Otherwise, those people that care about you will be heartbroken and feel sad.”
Xiao Xu’s lips bent slightly, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Do you know? I had already foreseen this day. But didn’t expect it would come so quickly.”
Finished speaking, Chu Qing-Yan had some doubts and looked at him with puzzlement. “Big Block of Ice, what do you mean?”
“You don’t need to know so much. As long as you continue to live well, then it’s good.” Xiao Xu’s eyes turned to look toward her, a warm meaning floated from the bottom of his eyes, concealing the sorrow in his eyes from just now.
“I also want you to keep on living! One person will be too lonely. With two people, there is companionship!” Speaking up to here, she suddenly understood the meaning in his words just now. She immediately bit her lips. “Big Block of Ice, before you separated us into two different carriages, it was in order to protect me from assassins right?”
Seeing the little fellow having guessed his intent, Xiao Xu didn’t deny it. “Their target is me, as long as you are not together with me, I can ensure you are safe and sound.”
The guess in her heart turned out to be true, Chu Qing-Yan couldn’t help but shake her head. But she still had more questions. “Then you told them to send me away, in fact it’s to keep me far away from you right? Actually, even if I waited at Fu Li mountain range, you still wouldn’t be able to return, am I right? Everything was to deceive me right?”
Even though before, it was in Dongting Wang-Yu’s words, and Fire Spirit’s group had tacitly agreed, she still want to personally hear it from him. She wanted to know if he really thought like that in his heart!
As if he hadn’t heard the anger in her words, Xiao Xu wanted to lift a hand to rub her head, like before. But recently he had lost all the strength in his body, so the hand he wanted to lift up dropped down powerlessly. He couldn’t help but laugh softly, there was a sense of loss that no one could discern in his tone. “It was not to keep you far away from me, rather it was to keep you far away from hell. Giving you something to wait for, then maybe you won’t taste sudden pain. Time will whittle away the memories of one person. I didn’t deceive you, I would have returned. Earth Spirit would have delivered my body to you.”
“I don’t want you to leave. I also don’t want you to die. I want a Big Block of Ice that will reprimand me, instruct me, and forgive me!” She had clearly told herself she mustn’t cry. Don’t know why today her tear glands would flourish like this, her tears were like an opened faucet that couldn’t be stopped!
He smiled vaguely. “Qing-Yan, since I was small till now, they all said I’m a scourge. The people following by my side all deserve to die.”
“Those were all lies they used to deceive you. I’m not superstitious, I don’t believe in supernatural beings. I only believe what I hear with my own ears, see with my own eyes and what my heart feels.” Chu Qing-Yan right now really hated those people. She didn’t need to guess, she knew who those people were.
Her family’s Big Block of Ice, if flower sees, it will bloom. If grass sees, it will pay its respect. Only those people, because of the struggle for power, they wouldn’t even let a good child go!
Xiao Xu smiled, he just knew the little fellow would say something like this. He once again started to lightly cough. Chu Qing-Yan once again started to pat his chest, avoiding his wound and lightly stroking him. This instance resembled another scene, as if they had returned to Prince Ying manor. Because she ate the pastries by mistake and got poisoned, Big Block of Ice helped her drink medicine, and also lightly patted her like this.
Only a pity that the subject isn’t the right person, the two of their positions had been switched.
Xiao Xu took a breath, just now that cough had already wasted all of his mental strength. His hand extended to grab the hand in front of his chest. Seeing this, Chu Qing-Yan looked toward him.
“I already have no way to go forward. You bring Fire Spirit and the others to leave here. The further you guys go, the better!” He seriously made it clear to her.
“No, I won’t abandon you by yourself.” Chu Qing-Yan readily refused.
“Be obedient!” Xiao Xu said helplessly.
“If being obedient means leaving you, then I’d rather go against your order and become a rebellious child!” This time no matter what he said, she won’t compromise!
Sensing the resolution in the person in front of him, Xiao Xu coldly said. “Qing-Yan, I already don’t have the abilities to protect you.”
“I don’t need you to protect me, I only want to stay by your side!” Chu Qing-Yan held in the tears, and once more resolutely said her own thoughts.
“I don’t want you to throw away your life!” This is the first time Xiao Xu had a headache because of her stubbornness.
The person in front of her, because of the poison being too deep, his thin lips were giving off a blackish purple color. But that skin not covered by the mask seemed to be transparent and deathly pale.
His entire person seemed like it could dissipate at any moment, but his heart was still focused on her safety. How could she not be moved?
“I won’t die, you also won’t! Before, it was you protecting me, now, it’s my turn to protect you!”
“How can you be so foolish?”
He gave a light sigh, and inside the words were melancholy, gratification, joy, reluctance to part and tenderness….