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Move out
“Everyone got that?!” Bai Chuan nervously drew a long oval shape on the blackboard, then added a smaller circle on top, representing the head and a few straight lines on the side, representing the limbs. Looking unsatisfied, she added few more lines inside the smaller circle on top, symbolizing the eyes, mouth and nose. Finally, she nodded like having a weight off her shoulders. Clapping her hands in satisfaction, she said: “That is what a Beastman looks like! Everyone take notes. Those are our enemies! If you see anyone looking like that, you know what to do!”
The soldiers muttered to themselves: “Why does it look like a tree?”
“What are you on about? It clearly looks like sugar-coated haws[[1]]!”
“Wait, check out Master Luo Jie, no wonder he is so mean to us all the time, he is in fact a Beastman in disguise!”
“Shit, you are right. He really does look like one. Let’s f*ck him up for being such a dick to us earlier!”
……
As a “veteran of war”, the “fake Beastman” was telling his war stories to the new recruits: “Back then, I stood all alone surrounded by three thousand Demons on my left, three thousand on my right, and ten thousand in front of me, and even more…”
“No way, Luo Jie. It was nowhere near that many. You remembered it wrong.”
Standing next to him, Chang Chuan corrected him with an honest tone, saying: “I counted it; there was only nine-thousand-eight-hundred-and-ninety-five. That is all.”
“And then the Demons pounced on me with everything they got, shouting and swinging their weapons. Huehue. If it was any of you, I’m sure you would be pissing in your pants right now.”
“Indeed, bravery is a rare trait nowadays amongst the youngsters.” Chang Chuan added, sounding like an experienced warrior knowing what he was talking about.
“But for a battle hardened warrior such as myself, it was like everyday’s business! I just sat there, waited and lit my pipe. I didn’t even bother looking at them… Erm, I forgot what brand of tobacco leaves I smoked. Chang Chuan, do you recall?”
“Damn that brain of yours. Weren’t you smoking the San Wu leaves?”
“Aah. Yes! I spit a smoke ring at them, making an perfect circle. Then without blinking, I gave them the finger and raised my chin provocatively, meaning: You better all come at me at once; it would save me the effort to hunt down each one of you later.”
“Sigh.” Chang Chuan exhaled, sounding apologetic: “That is so typical of Luo Jie, barbaric and uncivilized. You guys better not follow his footsteps.”
A young recruit immediately asked, sounding anxious: “And then? What happened next?”
“Well, those bastards just all came at me, and with one move, I just…”
“He just died a terrible death. His body was torn apart by the Demon legion, spilling his guts and brain juice all over the floor. Luckily a few ants who were just passing through found the kindness in them to ‘take care of’ his rotting remains, leaving only a set of chalk white skeleton lying in the bushes. You can still find it sitting there as we speak.” Not sure when, Xiu’s Company’s commanding officer, ZiChuan Xiu had arrived as he commented coldly.
“Sir!” Luo Jie and Chang Hui leapt to their feet and saluted.
……
The soldiers from “Xiu’s Company” might seem incredibly brave and invincible when brawling in the streets of Di Du, but they’d much rather spend their time eating, drinking and relaxing than marching long distances under the searing sun.
“F*ck this shit! I have never needed to do something so painful my entire life!”
“The sun is killing me. It is putting wrinkles on my flawless face!”
“Yeah man, riding on horseback is terrible, my legs are completely sore!”
Everyone complained fervently, threatening to mutiny. They thought they could scare the meekly looking ZiChuan Xiu into submission… Well, it had worked every time they tried this before. Despite Bai Chuan kindly warned them not to: “Commander Xiu is in a terrible mood right now, you better not poke the bear!” They had no reason not to try it again as they each handed in their protest letter, deciding to stay in the City of Storff, and refusing to leave.
……
That very same night, a horrifying shadowy figure appeared in front of their camp. ZiChuan Xiu asked in a dangerous tone: “The platoon threatening to mutiny is staying over there?”
Bai Chuan, Luo Jie, Chang Chuan, the trio nodded rapidly, terrified of saying anything wrong.
“Wuhehehehe.” ZiChuan Xiu let out a creepy laughter that would send chills down their spines: “Wait here.”
With that, he pushed the gate open and glided through the darkness.
It didn’t take long before the soul tearing wails began to echo through the nightly sky of the city, waking every child from their dreams and leaving them crying for their mothers.
Other soldiers who had participated in the mutiny trembled in fear as the night went on. No matter how many blankets they covered themselves with they could not stop the ghoulish cries from piercing through and getting to their ears. It was safe to say, they didn’t need much convincing afterwards as they quickly tore up their protest letters.
An hour later, the horror had finally stopped, but the eerie silence that followed made their hairs stand on end.
Suddenly, the door opened a crack and it was ZiChuan Xiu who crept his way out, saying casually: “They are sound asleep.” Then he dusted off his hands and left.
A soldier, barely alive, crawled out from under the same door moment later, screaming for help: “Tell… tell the Officers! A monster… that looked a lot like Sir Xiu… ambushed us… the others are…” Before he could finish, he spat a mouthful of blood and fainted.
Bai Chuan shouted: “Medic! We need help over here!”
Luo Jie whispered: “Did you see that? That is what happens if you f*ck with Sir Xiu after he just got dumped.”
Chang Chuan could feel the pain of the horrors that had just befallen the young soldier lying in front of him. He prayed: “Gods, if you are out there and can hear me, please help that idiot find a girlfriend, or we will all be dead soon!”
“Amen!” The trio agreed wholeheartedly.
……
The second morning before the sun even came up, without any of the Officer’s urging, the soldiers were already gathered, lined up and ready to move out. As the trumpet sounded loudly over the horizon, the songs of blood and steel followed.
Everywhere ZiChuan Xiu went, the soldiers would talk loudly amongst themselves, emphasizing on how energetic they felt today, and how they couldn’t wait to get to Fort Warren!
“Yeah man, the sun is great, the horse is great. Everything is great!”
“Same here, a hundred mile a day is nothing, we should ride at least three thousand miles today!”
In the world of thieves and thugs, the one with the biggest fist is always the Boss. Since ZiChuan Xiu’s fist was bigger than a whole platoon’s fifty fists combined, he was without a doubt – the Boss!”
Besides, Boss ZiChuan Xiu was quite “considerate” to begin with, and very “reliable”.
Back at the tavern in the city, after a few of the soldiers had lost a fight against a group of local thugs, ZiChuan Xiu immediately led a battalion of five hundred strong and helped them got their pay back by beating the crap out of the thugs and sending them running with squeals of terror and delight.
And when they arrived at the provincial capital of Darma, the local logistic officer refused to supply them with provisions, saying: “Xiu’s Company? I have never heard of this newly created band of criminals.” ZiChuan Xiu shouted on the spot, and gave those few officers including a Banner Master a beating they would not soon forget. In the end they had no choice but to cough up everything they owed and more.
Naturally, it greatly pleased his band of criminals. They loved nothing more than to hear others beg for mercy on their knees. And soon, a saying began circulating amongst the soldiers: “Our commander is like an angry lion! And he is very protective of his cubs!”
Every time they passed through a city, ZiChuan Xiu would always offer his men a few days off, and each time, the soldiers would cheer back: “Long Live Commander Xiu!” as they scattered throughout the city searching for taverns or brothels…… In some ways, their admiration for ZiChuan Xiu truly came from the heart, since they knew they wouldn’t be able to find an even more “considerate” Boss anywhere else in this world.
……
Bai Chuan complained angrily: “Sir, what about our orders? The High Command wants us at Fort Warren…”
“Aren’t we on our way there right now?”
“But the time…”
“The order was to march for Fort Warren; it did not specify when we have to arrive.”
“But the Constables…”
“Inspector General – Di Lin is my big brother. You have nothing to worry about!”
And that ended any objection she might have had.
……
In the evening of each mini-vacation, ZiChuan Xiu would always order the trio to stay guard at the empty field camp while changing out of the army uniform himself and going out on his own. And each time, he would disappear as soon as he went out of the gate while humming a joyful tune, only to return a little before the next sunrise, looking completely exhausted.
Bai Chuan cursed: “F*cking idiot! He is going to die sooner rather than later!”
Luo Jie lamented: “Ever since Lady Ning dumped Commander Xiu, he had been venting his pain through meaningless one night stands!”
Chang Chuan voiced his discontent: “Sir Xiu is such an ass, hanging us out to dry while having all the fun himself.”
He had tried to follow him several times; the first time, a few thugs got in the way and he lost track of him; the second time, he was stopped by a girl of ill-repute on the street, and by the time he managed to get away, ZiChuan Xiu vanished again; the third time, he was arrested by the local police on the suspicion of illegal male prostitution, and ended up spending the night in jail; the last time he got knocked unconscious in a dark alleyway, by the time he woke up he had lost everything of value.
During daylight, a lot of visitors would come looking for ZiChuan Xiu, both men and women. They all had a strange and wicked look on their faces, and they moved with such secrecy as if they were mafias here to settle a drug deal. When they got into ZiChuan Xiu’s room, they would talk for a long time behind closed doors, and when they leave, they would sneak out through the back entrance without raising any attention.
By the time Xiu’s Company was on the move again, a group of mysterious travellers would have appeared behind them, dragging a long row of caravans following them day and night. When the army moved, they moved, and when the army stopped, they stopped, always within a hundred meter distance. Every time Xiu’s Company passed through another city, the group of traveller would get bigger. By the time they reached Fort Warren, the band of men and women had grown to almost three thousand in size, and over hundreds of caravans, a size that could rival an entire army.
Bai Chuan kept getting more suspicious. She finally went to ask ZiChuan Xiu. ZiChuan Xiu sounded embarrassed when he gave the answer: “It is entirely my fault. You see, I have been strapped for cash lately. I promised I would pay them as soon as I got to Fort Warren. So that is why they have been following us…” Before he could finish, Bai Chuan’s sabre already reached for his throat.
Chang Chuan had other explanation concerning ZiChuan Xiu’s answer: “Bai Chuan is such an idiot; she is so clueless at times. We are both men. I can see through his tricks from miles away. There is no way he can fool an experienced player such as myself.”
He said to Luo Jie: “Just think about it. How many days has it been since we left Di Du? In such a short time, do you really think it is possible for Sir Xiu to owe over a thousand courtesans their nightly fee? He may be ‘strong’, but he is not that ‘strong’ ok?”
Luo Jie suddenly realized: “Right, that doesn’t make sense. There is no way he could be that ‘strong’! So what do you think is going on?”
“Clearly, there is only one possibility.” Chang Chuan stated angrily: “He must have brought male aphrodisiac with him! What a cunning bastard, keeping all the good stuff for himself!”
Imperial Calendar, Year 779, October 6th, Xiu’s Company’s eight thousand riders had arrived at Fort Warren.
[[1]]Sugar-coated Haws is a traditional winter snack in northern china.
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