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Army Reserve
Imperial Calendar, Year 779, Early September, upon receiving High Command’s conscription order, the first group coming from the fifty six provinces of House ZiChuan, two hundred thousand draftees had assembled in the Capital City – Di Du, and would soon be sent for the Far Eastern Front.
The officers and soldiers assembled came from all provinces and districts of the House. Some had strange local dialect, some had terrible facial hairs, and most of them wore all kinds of strange outfits. The poor ones from the City dressed like beggars; the sons of the wealthy dressed suavely in expensive suits, as if they were here to attend a banquet, and the rural aristocrats had their rusty armour on, so ancient that one could easily mistaken them for something stolen from the museum, even their war horses were so old they would be eligible for nursing house if there was such for horses. ZiChuan Xiu saw for the first time ever, an old man dragging a fifty kilo heavy machete behind him, gasping. His nefarious mind worked quickly: “What could he do with that machete I wonder? He couldn’t even kill himself with that thing if he tried!”
The new recruits attended the military inspection ceremony holding all kinds of horrible banners, like “Reaper’s Guard”, “Skeletal Avengers”, and the ones from Rockswig even called themselves the “Merciless Volunteers.”
Just based on the appearance alone, they were at least millions times more brave than the soldiers fighting on the frontline, and many times more confident as well, waving their sticks whole day drivelling with distain: “Forget those savages in the Far East; they are not worthy to stain our blades! I can club them all to death with my cane alone, eyes closed!”
Supreme Commander Luo Ming Hai had always considered himself to be a man of sophistication and patience. And right now, his most important task was to inspect the new recruits coming from every corner of House ZiChuan’s territories. As each not-so-square square formations marched past the Inspection Podium, many empty shoes would always get left behind on the otherwise empty parade ground. (Apparently, soldiers on the back keep stepping on the shoes of those marching in front of them.)
The other officials attending the Inspection Ceremony all had a strange and painful expression on their face, trying desperately not to laugh. Only Supreme Commander – Luo Ming Hai was somehow able to retain his calm as he made his speech to the former owner of those shoes, complimenting them for their diligence and altruism, thanking them for their loyalty and bravery, and finally inspiring them to fight for the House and contribute to the greater good.
The soldiers rejoiced loudly: “Long live House ZiChuan! Long live the Headmaster!” As if all those shoes bathing under the sun while filling the empty parade ground somehow were never theirs.
Luo Ming Hai probably thought himself a saint right now! But on the day of September 10th, when the new recruits from Kesan province walked past the Inspection Podium in casual clothing while smoking cigars, as if they were here on vacation. The “Saint” finally lost it! Even their banner had the paint job done by a five-year-old. He had to look very hard through the magnifying glass to make out what looked like the character of “Xiu” written in the center of the banner…
“Who is that angry old man up there? He looks awfully familiar!”
“Are you stupid! Don’t you read the papers? That is Supreme Commander – Luo Ming Hai, a man of importance!”
“Really? How come no one told me there was a signing session planned for the Xiu’s Company tour? I would have brought my little brother if I did! Yo, Sir Supreme Commander. How are you doing?”
“Everyone look, the Supreme Commander is smiling! And his nose wiggles up and down when he smiles, how cool is that?”
“Look, he is trying to speak! The way his mouth opened and closed, reminded me of a hooked fish!”
“Hey dude, where are you going?”
“It is my first time in the Capital; I’m going to ask for an autograph!”
Restraining his anger, Luo Ming Hai asked ZiChuan Xiu as calmly as humanly possible: “Sir Xiu, would you mind telling me what you see down there?” The way he gestured at the new recruits, was like pointing at a pile of dog shit left on the side of the road.
Rising slowly to his feet, ZiChuan Xiu gave Supreme Commander an extremely generalized and accurate description: “Men, Sir!” then quickly left through the backdoor.
The judicious Luo Ming Hai barely managed to keep himself in check, glaring sideways at Inspector General – Di Lin here to attend the Inspection sitting beside him. Then turning his gaze skywards as if he wasn’t speaking to Inspector General – Di Lin directly: “How does Inspector General feel concerning Deputy Commander ZiChuan Xiu’s dereliction of duty in regards to the recent recruitment efforts?”
Di Lin smiled as he took a sip of his tea, then speaking softly: “He has character; I like it.” And left the parade ground, completely ignoring the furious Luo Ming Hai who was about to explode any second.
ZiChuan Xiu ran back home like a terrified rabbit, inhaling deeply: “That was close! Luo Ming Hai almost caught me!”
ZiChuan Ning handed him a cup of warm tea: “I heard our Supreme Commander, Sir Luo Ming Hai’s high blood pressure acted up again during the Inspection Ceremony… Surely it has nothing to do with you, right? Brother?”
“Well, the weather is too hot and he has high blood pressure. He really shouldn’t work so hard and should take better care of himself!” ZiChuan Xiu spoke with a very sad look on his face, while secretly praying to every deity regardless whether he believed in them or not: Hear my prayer, O thy mighty Gods, may Supreme Commander fall ill to terminal disease, and never to awake again!
Bai Chuan hurriedly rushed into the room: “Sir, it is bad! Our soldiers mutinied again!”
“Again? Don’t they get tired of this shit? Monday they complained about the food, Wednesday they complained about the lack of strip shows. Today is the third! We gave them all the food they can eat, and free lap dances every night, why do they still want to mutiny?”
“Well, Sir. They are complaining about the dancer’s proportions. You know… not sexy enough! Those f*ckers, they even asked me to… dance for them! We should punish them severely!”
Bai Chuan was furious, but embarrassed at the same time: “Though I’d have to agree, those f*ckers have great taste…”
“Nice try! Unbelievable, they have barely been soldiers for three days, now even damn cows are good enough to pass as angels!” Ignoring the hateful look on Bai Chuan’s face, ZiChuan Xiu continued: “But as their commanding officer, it’s my duty to look after them, or no one would risk their lives for me in battle! So, Bai Chuan, can’t you perhaps make a small sacrifise? You know, it is all for the greater good, to bring peace to the Far East and rescue our people from turmoil…”
“Sir, next time when you try to sound all wise and sincere, can you please not drool while doing it? You don’t sound convincing at all!”
“Oh, I was just moved by the thought of finally doing the right thing for once. Anyways, I will try my best to satisfy the need of our brave warriors who are about to risk their lives in battle for the future of House ZiChuan! What else do they want?
“They say they want Lady Ning to give them a lap dance as well…”
“……”
“Sir, are you all right?”
“Inform my brother, Di Lin. Tell him to send the Constables… better yet, tell him to kill them all!”
……
In the second week after the battle at Fort Warren, following Stirling’s arrival, Commander Ming Hui had led the powerful Black Banner Army all the way from the western border, through the Fort Warren and into Far East.
Commander Fang Jing was supposed to be leading the Black Banner Army, but due to his sudden illness, Border Army Commander Ming Hui led the army instead.
Ever since his arrival at the Far East, the High Command was confronted with two extreme opposite problems: One was the reckless advancement of Stirling’s Central Army in the north; the other was the sluggish display of Ming Hui’s Black Banner Army in the south.
Two weeks had passed since then, the hundred twenty thousand Black Banner Army were still crawling through Felmick, the province directly east of Fort Warren. He would spend days trying to chase after small group of rebels, taking one step forward and two steps back. ZiChuan Xiu described Ming Hui’s speed as: “A healthy snail could outrun him any day in the week!”
Supreme Commander – Luo Ming Hai probably wanted to whip his ass personally if he could, but Sir Ming Hui had all the excuses in the world: “If the reckless advancement leads to another Battle of Red Lake, who will bear the responsibility?”
The fact was, no one could. And thus Ming Hui felt even more justified in his actions. Back when he fought the terrifying Liu Feng Shuang, he was so overly cautious and quick to run away, he never once “lost a battle” against her. This time he turned his extreme caution even up a notch: Every hill could have a Rebel hideout, every forest could be an ambush, and every road could lead to a trap. Even a rock on the side of the road could have several rebels hiding behind them.
Then again, he wasn’t completely idle either. Once he encountered a dozen stray rebels defeated at Fort Warren, he exaggerated as having found the bulk of the enemy force of two hundred thousand strong! The other day a guard was bitten by a snake, and the day after, Ming Hui sent the report, informing High Command of a huge Serpent invasion! Of course, many of his men were wounded by the attack, so he had to slow down even more to recuperate.”
Even the High Command didn’t know what to do with Ming Hui’s battle reports anymore. In his reports, Ming Hui claimed to have killed a million Serpents the first day, two million Beastmen the second and three million the third…” The juxtaposition of their reports made Stirling’s major victory at Fort Warren suddenly seem insignificant. Even adding the entire population of the Far Eastern regions together and multiply it by two, it would still be fewer than the total casualties Ming Hui claimed to have inflicted over the last two weeks. And yet, he still couldn’t advance because another “five million” rebels suddenly came out of nowhere, blocking his path.
Stirling’s battle reports on the other hand were a lot more believable… and more bitter as well…
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