Weapon Shop Uncle Volume 1 Chapter 1

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Chapter 1: The Uncle and the Loli

The moment I reincarnated into this world, I have been thinking of my designated role.

Please forgive my OCD.

I have a reason to believe that, since I’m in an old-fashioned setting whereby heroes set off to defeat the demon lord, roles must be defined very clearly, to the point where it’s recognizable at first glance.

Regardless of the divisions within the demon race, they are all simply treated as villains.

Humans can also be easily categorized. For example, “Protagonists”, “Side Characters”, “Passer-bys”, and etcetera. The protagonists can also be further divided into male leads, female leads, male 2, female 2… and more.

Over here, the protagonists, indisputably, are none other than the heroes. The young heroes bring along their companions on a journey, becoming stronger along the way, and finally defeating the evil demon lord with an extremely cool skill. Aaah, no matter which world it is, people will not get tired from this sort of scenario.

The so-called side characters, are people that have certain relations to the heroes. For example, a member of the hero’s party.

As for passer-bys, they are people who have fateful encounters with the heroes. For example, a villager killed by villains.

But, ultimately, what am I!?

Zaifhe, 26-years-old, and I run a weapon shop.

Ever since I opened this shop, countless number of youths have bought weapons from my shop to defeat the demon lord. I address them as “Hero No.1”, “Hero No. 2”, and etcetera. This number, in just two years, have already went up to 575. The demon lord is still alive and kicking, and occasionally, he would dispatch troops to harass the rear of our army camps.

Till now, I have yet to find out whether I had actually met the actual protagonist, and whether I can be considered as a passer-by role.

Because the place I resurrected to was something similar to a beginner village, hence, basically, not many demons would come over here.

Though, this kid was an exception.

“Big brother, this…”

A little girl, who was wearing a snow-white top hat, raised up a shining silver short sword.

Pale white skin, a cute face with a small amount of baby fat which only a little girl would have, and eyes deep red in color. If she were to take off her top hat, a small little horn could be seen growing out of her forehead. She wore a linen dress that’s really common in the village and a white apron. But, a little girl with this level of appearance, will always emit a beautiful brilliance that attract people’s attention, no matter what she wears.

If I were to use a word to sum it up, it would be immaculate. A pure white loli.

Elan, was of the ogre race. Her age was about 10, and on a certain day, she appeared at the doorstep of my shop with body full of wounds. Although I have not even asked her about it till now, but I reckon that she stumbled into this place after breaking through the humans’ defensive border. Back then, I was really given quite a shock. I even thought this girl was about to die. When she woke up, I was worried that I might even get killed by her.

“I already told you to call me uncle, right? And a child shouldn’t fiddle around with swords.”

I used my right hand which was wearing a thick glove to gently take the sword from her hands.

“Yes, but big brother is evidently still quite young, you know.”

Because I was already quite old in my former world, though I did not say these words out loud. Hence, I took off Elan’s hat and patted her head.

Like a little kitten, she closed her eyes as she giggled sillily.

“Today, I will clean with all my might as well!”

Following after what she said, I raised my head and looked around the shop. To tell the truth, the lighting in this small wooden house was not that good, and it’s not really spacious either. A small house with about 60 square meters in size was divided into two, with the counter at the center. Two antique wooden racks were filled with weapons that were personally crafted by me. Long swords, short swords, double edged swords, battle axes, battle maces, long bows, crossbows, metal spears, tridents and etcetera. As long as it’s a weapon you could think of, they were all on sale, and the best-selling types of weapons had different models to choose from as well.

The rack behind the counter contained works that I’m rather proud of, and the silver short sword earlier was one of them. Elan’s work consisted of cleaning the building, sweeping the floor, and dusting off the displayed weapons.

Incidentally, the long swords were the best-selling weapons. As I thought, heroes should definitely use swords as their main weapon. Knives sell pretty good as well, while I was not able to sell a single axe or spear for quite a long time. Probably because everyone thought that they were not cool enough, though I did put quite some work in them.

“Aiyo, so this is the place that sells weapons? You guys come in as well, and look around for any good weapons!”

Guests, huh.

While having this thought in mind, I raised my head and looked towards the shop entrance.

A well-dressed golden hair twerp, who was about 14 or 15 years old. An apparel made with the interweaving of deep red and white silk, which looked like the clothes nobles wear in the late middle ages. Following his yell, four boys who were about the same age as him walked in.

“Welcome. You can find every type of weapon here, and you’re free to choose any one that you like.”

I was not really interested in an arrogant twerp, so I supported my head on the counter and doze off as usual.

“Hmph, uncle, do you know who I am?”

“No matter who you are, if you’re here in my shop, it means you’re my guest.”

“Guest? I’m a member of the Vergia noble household nearby. I’m different compared to those regular villagers.”

Villagers? Oooh, my current role designation is a villager, huh. But is a simple villager a passer-by? It doesn’t sound right either.

I who was currently deep in thoughts did not have the mood to continue talking to him.

After a while, I heard a clanging sound.

“Umm, please, please do not do that. It will damage the weapon…”

Elan was a little afraid of people, so her voice was very soft.

I then realized that twerp was slashing two swords at each other. Because those two swords were among the mediocre products I made, I didn’t really mind. Since he’s a noble, it’s best to ignore him, and prevent getting into trouble. Hence, I planned to signal to Elan not to meddle with him.

But Elan kept staring at the swords, and suddenly shouted:

“Stop it! That’s something big brother made with his hard work, uh, I mean… it’s someone’s… blood and sweat…”

The golden hair youth raised his head and looked at Elan, spit out some saliva, and peered straight into her eyes. Elan fearfully lowered her head.

The youth snorted, and dropped the swords onto the floor.

“I, Durant Vergia, is someone who is going to be a hero! Such worn-out toys, are basically unworthy to be used by me!”

The little followers behind him broke into a cheer.

I was already at an age where I could be called an uncle, so I really did not wish to play with these immature brats.

“Then, I’m very sorry that there’s nothing here that fits you. Please find another shop.”

Giving the expulsion order, I shook my head at Elan, hinting to her that there’s no need to entertain the guests any longer.

“Wait a minute!”

The youth who called himself Durant rolled his eyes, and said to me:

“In any case, with such a small shop, you can probably only sell a little to a dozen weapons in a year, right? This young master here will reward you with his patronage. I’m a practitioner of my household’s traditional Moon God Stream. Do you have a decent rapier for sale?”

He said audaciously, with his hands on his waist.

Elan did not seem to have noticed my hint, and simply stood there blankly at the same spot. I casually picked out a decent rapier from behind me and threw it towards him.

Durant leapt towards it and easily grabbed it in his hands, as he then proceeded to practice a few moves with it.

“Un, with your standard of workmanship, it’s a rather decent sword. It feels rather comfortable when I use it. How much does it cost?”

“5 silver.”

Its cost seemed to be close to nothing to him. He threw a gold coin onto the counter, and said:

“Give my subordinates a few of the swords I used earlier as well. There’s no need for change.”

In this country, a gold coin was equivalent to about 30 silver coins.

“Freely pick them out as you will. Thank you for your patronage.”

I was not one of those people who were greedy for money, but there’s no need to reject a large sum of money when it’s right in front of me.

And right at this moment, Durant suddenly grabbed onto Elan’s hand.

“I must say, you shouldn’t stay in this sort of place forever. Why don’t you take a look outside for a change? My family has a lot of money, if you come with me, you will be able to change to a better set of clothes as well. Oh right, you will get to enjoy better food as well. You will definitely enjoy a better life than the one here. How about it? Want to go on an adventure with us? The one who defeats the demon lord, will ultimately be me, the great Durant!”


She tried to escape his grasp, but to no avail.

Because I had warned Elan not to use her ogre powers here, she was currently at a loss of what to do.

Durant’s swordsmanship was genuine, I reckon he definitely had undergone appropriate training.

Having both power and status in this day and age, it’s natural he would be so arrogant in his ways.

Lecturing these sorts of kids, is also a work I must do as an adult.

“If you’re done buying your weapons, please hurry and leave. If you continue to trouble my employee, I will have a headache as well.”

“Shut up. Haven’t I given you the money? People of the lower class should be conscientious, and not do anything that’s beyond their level.”

“That’s right, that’s right! If you anger our big brother Durant, you will definitely suffer the consequences! Big brother Durant is a genius who could even easily take down a Grey Bear! A weak uncle like you, will be thoroughly beaten up in just a few moves!”

What’s with this villain-like speech? Are these people really heroes?

I have to reconsider whether I should call him Hero No. 576, huh.

I shook my head. Oh well, forget it.

Seeing that I wasn’t making any moves, Durant raised his hand towards Elan’s face.

“Enough. Elan, send our guests off.”

This sentence meant that Durant did not need to suppress her ogre powers any longer.

I had thought it out well before I decided to do this. Elan’s personality wasn’t bad, so she wouldn’t simply kill Durant. She was still wearing the top hat as well, so even if she used her ogre powers, a normal person wouldn’t even think that such a delicate little girl was an ogre.

Sure enough, the teary-eyed Elan grabbed onto Durant’s arm, and easily threw him out of the shop’s door.

Durant tumbled out of the entrance, and his body and clothes were stained with mud.

His subordinates were in a uproar.

A tip for you guys, if you see such a huge difference in abilities between you and your opponent, run. If it was me, I would have definitely ran.

But what a pity, Durant happened to be a stubborn child. The rapier unsheathed, he changed his angle of attack as he struck towards Elan. His footwork was well-practiced as well. The silver rapier swirled at extreme speed, and dozens of silver light were drawn near his body. The area within of a radius of about a meter and a half, which was the length of his arm and the rapier combined, became his domain. Indeed, if we’re factoring in battle experience, Elan was at an overwhelming disadvantage.

“Ha, hahaha! In the face of big brother Durant’s technique, you’re so afraid that you can no longer move, right!? That’s right, even an expert fencer will find it hard to parry this sword technique!”

This is so embarrassing! You actually have your subordinate explain your own techniques? Speaking of which, doesn’t it have a name? For example, Meteor Breaking Slash, or something. No, no, that won’t work, it’s too chuunibyou-ish…

“It’s basically impossible to dodge! This technique is something Durant learnt after gaining insights in the essence of his swordsmanship, the Meteor Breaking Slash!!”

It’s really called the Meteor Breaking Slash!?

Making the effort with explaining this sort of things, it must have been really hard on you guys.

But indeed, currently, Elan was being pushed back a step at a time, and she looked like she was about to cry, as she was at a loss of what to do.

In the end, she finally completely gave up, and cried as she ran over to me.

“Guuuaaaaaa!! Big brother, help me—”

Really now, it’s basically the same as how we first met. Suddenly crying and running over to hug me.

That time, my clothes were completely stained with blood because of it.

I stretched my neck.

—- Baaaaang!!!

Well, I will just give you the floor for today.

Durant was thoroughly stupefied. His mouth was wide open, and his saliva spilled onto the floor.

This was inevitable, I guess. Earlier, he was still confidently executing his swordplay routine, but when he regained his senses, his face was already pressed onto the floor. The strength of the slam, coupled with the age of the wooden floor itself, caused the floor to shatter. If it was me, I would have been knocked unconscious from the impact as well.

“Wh- What happened just now!?”

“That uncle, he…”

“How is that possible…”

I once again grinded Durant’s face against the floor.

“Twerp, the way you act isn’t hero-like at all. I run a weapon shop, not a cultural site. No matter whether you’re a noble, or a regular civilian, in my shop, I call the shots.”

I flipped the gold coin I received earlier in the air, and the coin accurately fell and knocked onto his forehead.

I glanced at the rapier which was stabbed into the floor, and added another sentence.

“I take back my words, I’m not going to sell that weapon anymore. Scram.”

However, Durant seemed to have already fainted, so I directed his four subordinates to carry him away.

Stepping in to deal with these immature brats wasn’t an intention of mine. But, how should I put it? When I saw Elan using her tender fingers to rub her teary eyes, I suddenly had the impulse.

Even though I’m not that young anymore.

In the end, I did not meet the hero today either.

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28 Responses to Weapon Shop Uncle Volume 1 Chapter 1

  1. chronos5884 says:

    Thanks for the chapter!

  2. GonZ says:

    Hee.. hero 576.. no.. this one isn’t a hero.. just some lolicon no.7234

  3. konb123 says:

    wait is this a jap wn or a chinese wn? I saw a couple jap novels on the website too, so idk is there another source?

  4. k says:

    Thank for the update

    Maybe the uncle is the hero?

  5. RoflCat says:

    Just a thought, but it might be better to leave suffix/pronoun as it is.

    For example, I don’t think Elan calling the uncle “big bro” the same way the goon squads call Durant.

    And that different way in calling also shows difference in their positions.

    For example onii-chan/nii-tan/nii-cha is adorable.
    Aniki is rough
    Onii-sama is Miyuki

    In this case I feel it’s a case of less (translated) is more (meaningful)

    • RoflCat says:

      .- . Alright just notice it’s actually Chinese originally, although I’m not sure if here’s similar difference in Chinese as well.

  6. Owl says:

    I really have trouble imagining a kid with a top hat. In case someone does not know what a top hat is, imagine the guy in Monopoly. Makes me think she should be in a suit with a cane as well.

  7. Manga Hunter says:

    The uncle could be the hero. I just started reading this and I love it. I’ll make this into a light novel recommendation too after I finish reading the current updates. ^_^

  8. Oak says:

    thanks for the chapter

  9. NaoSou says:


  10. arken says:

    thanks for the chapter, looks good and different 🙂

  11. GreyDante says:

    I think – uncle is a real Hero and Elan is a real Demon Lord but they not know that.

  12. ambi says:

    Thanks for the chapter Scrya!

  13. libraryrocker says:

    Dude… you are the hero.

    I hate to tell you…

  14. Varler says:

    Lol. That was a pretty fun first chapter. I guess I have to keep reading now.
    Thanks for translating!

  15. HoneyMinThan says:


  16. Danis says:

    look interesting
    Thank you for the chapter 🙂

  17. Willun says:

    Wow the story and translation are top notch. I stumbled over this one after reading a bunch of short chapter ed stories with a lot of op MCs who tended to get their ducks stroked. No real better word for it… definately looking forward to more.

  18. 4crosses says:

    nice, look funny xD
    and poor Elan
    This sentence meant that Durant did not need to suppress her ogre powers any longer.
    Durant was also an Ogre xD

  19. A random passerby says:

    thanks for the chapter…this novel looks promising xD

  20. Keikeii says:

    Brat doesnt undertand

    Yes. Loli. No. Bully.

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