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Watashi, Dokidoki Renai Kakumei de Onii-chan Yattemasu.
Chapter 60 – The Winter Vacation and the Christmas Eve and the Doujin Activity [3]
“Yeah, Ikuto also has a point.”
“So you think so too, Subaru nee-san[1]?”
“Yes… well, if this weren’t the world of an otome game, I think it’d seriously be a massacre. This type of loved reverse harem heroine who doesn’t get attached to any side and seduces everyone.”
The same day. 15:45. A family restaurant in Animewte’s[2] neighbourhood at Ikebukuro East Entrance.
Ikebukuro East Entrance is extremely crowded due to the Comic Market held today. Ikebukuro’s ridiculously crowded in the real world even on weekends so I could imagine the Animewte head office being even more crowded when there’s a doujin sale. However, I didn’t expect even the family restaurant to be so crowded. Ikebukuro has the Otome Road and is a sacred ground for anime lovers after all. Even in the real world, I came here a number of times under Subaru nee-san’s.
“Naturally. When I recall what I’ve done so far, I feel like dying from the intense shyness and regret.”
“What do you regret, Mako? Taking up a vague attitude towards everyone?”
“Well… Honestly, I’m aware I treat it as friendship despite realising that Soutarou and Prince are carrying romantic feelings for me.”
By this point, the assertion I’m going to make will cause me to be a conceited woman but Soutarou and Prince definitely like me, I think. Of course, I think they like me in a romantic way.
When I consider how I think about them, honestly, I don’t know. As friends, they are incomparably, incomparably important. I like them. However, if I’m asked whether I can love one of them, I don’t know. More than not knowing, I’ve avoided thinking things like that.
“That’s cruel.”
“I know right…”
“Do you understand why that’s cruel, Mako? Are you not vaguely interpreting it as some inexplicable act of cruelty?”
Subaru elegantly sips coffee while stuffing her cheeks with pancakes.
Going around purchasing doujinshi without having lunch, she’s probably hungry. Although I’m hungry too, I don’t have much of an appetite. Was it due to the various blows that piled up?
Unable to immediately digest Subaru’s words, I stiffen for a while with a bewildered expression.
“Hey, I know you’re estranged from romance but it takes a lot more courage than you think to tell someone your feelings. Just saying a single “Like” is so embarrassing that it makes one want to cry.”
That’s something I know just by imagining.
The amount of embarrassment and nervousness to tell the person you like, “I like you”. If things go wrong, you may lose even the position of being friends. What feelings did Soutarou and the rest have when they told me they “like” me?
I should try thinking about it myself. If I like Soutarou, Prince and whatnot, will I be able to convey the single phrase “I like you”? Will I be able to convey “Like”, a word so short yet heavy? Knowing I’ll be subjected to this present attitude of mine, knowing I’ll be told “We’re friends after all”, will I be able to properly convey “I like you”?
“Moreover, the other party is of the same gender. I think that requires even more courage. Having that severed and thrown away with a single “We’re friends after all”, is expectedly cruel.”
“… Even if I understand that, I don’t know what to do. I’m not a character in Heartthrob Love Revolution after all. I’m, not Sakurai Makoto… The current me is me but not me. My appearance, personality, status, family, everything is a lie… I have to return to my original world eventually. With that, how on earth can I answer everyone’s feelings?”
“Mako…”
If this world was reality, if I was me, Makoto, I may have been able to answer positively. I may have been able to like someone and become a couple with them.
However, I’m not. Before being male or female, I must overcome the wall of 2- or 3-dimensional.
“You’re seriously an idiot. That doesn’t matter, does it? Oi unpopular woman, let me say this. Teenage love is just like measles. They happen be saying they like you now, but once you return to reality, they’ll forget such measles of a love in the blink of an eye. They’ll immediately start running towards a new love. The value of a year’s love when there are decades, is just that. How serious did you think such a thing was? Were you planning to become like RomeJuli or Titanic?”
“E, … eh, Subaru-san?”
Subaru nee-san’s face slides closer.
“It’s not a once-in-a-lifetime or generation love story. In the real world, the continuation after『I’ll wait for you in the future』『Yes, I’ll come at once, I’ll come running.』will end once you get another man, Makoto. The thing called love in reality isn’t something so good or romantic. Therefore, isn’t it fine to like who you like and dislike who you dislike? At this rate, you’re going to lose in life.”
“Nah, although Makoto is Makoto there, it’s not Makoto… I’m not time leaping… though I’m transported.”
As expected of Subaru nee-san. It seems like her dating experience isn’t just for show.
I’ve never come to like anyone, much less dated anyone. I’ve only read romance games, novels or manga. Therefore I took the thing called love too seriously and romanticized it too much.
Perhaps it’s as Subaru says.
Although Soutarou and Prince say they like me now, they may completely forget the trivial me once I return to the other side, fall in love with someone again, marry and have children. Perhaps the feelings of love for me is just that.
Becoming 3rd-years, everyone may continue to live normally in a world without me.
I know this is selfish at this late hour, however.
That’s, incredibly, lonely… So lonely that I want to cry.
“I see… That’s persuasive, nee-san.”
“So?! So, who do you like, Mako?!!”
My shoulders quiver in surprise at the Subaru who comes biting all of a sudden and so intensely that she’s drooling.
Unable to keep up with the serial development as though the serious development until now was a lie, I was unable to give an answer.
“Is it Soutarou, as expected… He’s your closest friend. Although the development of the heroine’s brother NTRing the heroine Mitsuki’s Prince is heart-throbbing, it must be Soutarou after all. Isn’t it, Mako?! Hey, isn’t it?! Or is Mako that type?! Even though Soutarou’s a doggy, he’s a beast in bed?!”
“I wouldn’t know that!!”
The fujoshi whose fever from Comiket has yet to settle, no, the goddess of rot fujoshi Subaru started unfolding her delusions while breathing roughly.
“Even though he’s usually『Mako, Mako, I like you~ I like you~ woof woof, Master』, from『I can’t endure either, Mako…』to『Hey, tell me clearly what you want, … Makoto? This area has already turned so』, is it?? A seme who speaks gently? Right, then Mako, too『Beep to my beep』cough”
“Oi Subaru. Shut up, grovel and apologise to me.”
With the menu, I smacked Subaru’s head with all my strength.
Although she makes a racket loudly, the surrounding females are also clamouring while showing each other their Comiket spoils of war so it seems they can’t hear us. That’s my only consolation.
“Sigh, to think it’s the majorly sadistic normie seme… That’s right huh, I thought Mako’s the uke from the difference in physique but I forgot about Soutarou’s motherhood…『We’re gonna be separated even if you like me, Soutarou… Forget about me and find a new man』says Makoto as he cries while hugging Soutarou. However, with Soutarou’s natural motherhood『I finally became one with Makoto… and I’m happy… There’s no way I can find someone new』『Soutarou…』『Ehehe, I’ll always like you…, Mako』is it that pattern?”
“Are you an idiot? Do you want to die?”
“If I’m going to die, I’ll die after seeing SouMako.”
I give a huge sigh to Subaru who makes a smart salute.
I’m embarrassed at myself for immediately understand the meaning of SouMako.
Soutarou is certainly a good guy. Extremely. I’m healed watching him and while sly, he’s cute. However, if asked whether there’s love, I don’t think so.
“I never looked at Soutarou that way. He’s a good guy though.”
“Why? Don’t you get along very well? Looking from the side, you’ve long jumped over the frame of friendship. I’m not just talking about Soutarou. Your behaviour is suggestive after all~”
My gaze unconsciously swim at the poisonous words.
“If you ask whether I want to kiss or have intercourse with Soutarou, it’s no. There are many things I want to do with Soutarou, more than those. Wanting to hang out, being together on Christmas or New Year, feelings of that sort are much stronger.”
“You… Isn’t that called “Like”? Going “Let’s have sex!” when you’re not dating, that’s not it, right? Although I think love of that sort exists too, doesn’t liking begin from wanting to be together?”
“But it’s the same for Prince and Kaname too. I want to be with them. I don’t think that regarding Soutarou alone.”
The more I think, the more confused I get.
So love was such a troublesome thing. I thought it was more romantic and fun. However, it wasn’t. 1 plus 1 equals to 2, it isn’t something so easy to get an answer from. It’s a difficult thing where you find a way to break many formulas so that 1 plus 1 can become 3.
Everyone had been doing such a difficult thing. They’d been searching for a way to love, that you can’t learn from games, novels or manga.
“You have to find it in the remaining 3 months then. Mitsuki-chan managed to find it without borrowing your help so you can probably find it too.”
“It’s too difficult for an unpopular woman.”
“You aren’t an unpopular woman anymore, right? You’re a splendid winner in life.”
She can say it so easily, thinking it’s someone else’s business.
Asking a beginner in love like me to face off epitomes of winners in life like them, what a brute. However, to her who brought forth those incomparably lovely existences who are irreplaceable to me, no amount of thanks is enough.
“It’s Mako’s turn next. Heart-throb Love Revolution, Makoto version!”
“Wasn’t Heart-throb Love Revolution an otome game?”
“Unexpected things happen in love~. Well, please consult me if you like someone. I’m the creator after all. The capture method will be a piece of cake!”
She says such a carefree thing while stopping the waiter and asking for water.
“You’re gonna use it as material for doujin, right?”
“Gulp”
“I’ll DEFINITELY not consult you.”
I didn’t think I’d come to like someone in this world.
I didn’t think I’ll come to like someone, so much.
[1] Just to clarify, they aren’t siblings. Makoto’s just calling her that as a form of ‘respect’ or kinda like an inside joke.
[2] Parody of animate (animeito) that sells anime goods.
Thank you! Can’t wait for the next chapter 🙂