No Protection Tonight
Chapter 2: Tangsao’s Requirements
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One day, Tangsao walked out of the bathroom while holding that particular piece of underwear. My heart hammered wildly. “Soon, her secret parts will touch the same place that mine did as well.”
But before I could even think of feeling joy, Tangsao threw the underwear to the ground, and the atmosphere had frozen solid. “Zhuang Feng, what did you do to my underwear?!”
*Just a little fun fact, whenever you see “zh” in Chinese, the sound is “j”. J as in the sound jay. So Zhuang sounds like Juahng, Zheng sounds like Jehng, Zhang sounds like Jahng, and so forth.
Her question nearly scared me to death, and my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my throat. But I was ready to defend myself. “Saozi, what are you talking about? You dried your underwear in the bedroom, what could I have done?”
“Hmph, smell it yourself.” Tangsao’s face convulsed, sending an ominous chill down my back.
“Ah, how could I dare? I can’t do that.” I shook my head back and forth.
“If I tell you to smell it, you will.” Tangsao’s expression darkened, and I immediately snatched up the panties. To be honest, I felt a rush of excitement from doing this right in front of her.
“It smells fine, just like detergent.”
“Yes, but is there anything else besides that?” I felt as if Tangsao’s piercing stare would follow me to the ends of the earth, and I shook my head.
“You sick bastard, this underwear must have been washed by you! Don’t deny it, I always wash my underwear with lavender-scented softener, but this one clearly wasn’t laundered in it! This underwear that I couldn’t find last time has no smell of lavender at all!” Tangsao shouted.
“S-Saozi, I just wanted to do a good deed since you’re so busy all the time. I wanted to help you in some way, so I lied. I’m sorry, Saozi.” I quickly admitted my mistake and told the truth, though I excluded the part where I fapped on it.
“Oh, then are you saying you haven’t done anything to my underwear besides washing it?” Tangsao’s expression softened, and I instinctively nodded.
“BULLSH*T, DO YOU THINK I’M AN IDIOT? I’m not a three-year-old, I caught the smell of cum in the bathroom that day, and my underwear was clearly missing! How will you explain that?” Tangsao’s rage boiled, and she shook with anger.
I was stunned and felt as if the sky was going to fall on my head. I thought my plan was flawless, but I’d missed that one detail.
“Zhuang Feng, Zhuang Feng, to think that you’d steal Saozi’s underwear and do such an unspeakable thing. Then this means that you even snuck into my room to hang it dry? What was that pig-brain of yours thinking?”
My mouth was shut with nothing to say. As someone who had never committed such a crime before, I could only lower my head and listen to her curses.
“The three ground rules I set have all been broken. I’m going to call your father right now.” Tangsao held her phone and scrolled through her contacts.
“No, no, no. Tangsao, it’s all my fault, don’t tell my dad.” Feeling desperate, I kneeled on the ground with a thump. The person I feared most was my father, and he didn’t spare me from being spanked during my childhood.
“Hmph, you’ve finally confessed. You’ve lost face for the Zhuang family, and you’ll never be allowed back in our house when I tell your tangge. Afterward, you won’t even be able to live peacefully in your own hometown.” Tangsao’s face shimmered with satisfaction. She was right. Tangshu was my uncle and the mayor of our little town. Everyone greatly respected him, so I really wouldn’t be able to go home if this matter were to reach his ears.
“No, Tangsao, I beg you, don’t tell my father, I just wasn’t thinking straight.” Tears were streaming from my eyes. Back home, even if I were to sleep with the village widow, it wouldn’t hold a candle to the roaring flames of stealing someone’s underwear and using it to masturbate. With my father’s temper, I doubted that he would feel even a shred of remorse if he were to throw me into a river full of crocodiles.
“Tsk, no matter what, you did do a good job of hiding it. Say, do you really like Saozi?” She lifted my chin and gazed deep into my eyes, like some demon vixen.
But really, I’m not the only one at fault here. Tangsao isn’t the perfect model wife. I’ve heard her numerous times on the phone, whispering things like “dear”, “baby”, and “I miss you” to people who were definitely not Tangge.
“No, definitely not.” I shook my head, not falling for her bluff.
“Oh, lying again? Then why did you steal my underwear and beat your d*ck? And I’ve caught you so many times looking at Saozi’s breasts and legs, don’t think that I haven’t noticed. Say, have you dreamed of Saozi before?” She looked beautiful when she smiled, but at this moment, I felt nothing but dread and fear. She seemed like an evil cannibal queen who left nothing but the bones of her victims.
“I-I-I’m sorry, as long as you don’t tell my parents, I’ll do anything.” I didn’t dare look at Saozi, because her shirt was loose and her breasts were bare for all to see!
My little buddy started to stiffen. “Alright, I can keep this a secret, but you need to help me with something.” A smile slipped out of Tangsao’s lips, and I suspected that I had fallen into a trap.
“What do you want?” I asked shakily.
Tangsao brought a plastic cup and said, “I want your semen in this thing. Saozi heard that it can brighten skin and remove acne. See these two pimples here? They’re really giving your Saozi a hard time.”
“Eh.” The three letters WTF snaked around my brain, what kind of help was this? The city is too complicated for me—I just wanted to go home to my village.
After going through her big pile of makeup and skin-care products, Tangsao wanted to try something more “natural”. What a f**king weirdo.
“Tangsao, don’t joke around. Can’t you can find Tangge to do it for you instead?” I immediately declined.
“Screw that, your Tangge isn’t a virgin. It says that only virgins can achieve the desired effect. Do it quick, don’t waste time.” Tangsao brazenly urged me to take off my pants.
“No, not that. I’ll climb a mountain of knives and swim in a sea of fire, but I can’t do this!” I didn’t budge.
“Oh, then alright. Since there’s nothing more to say, I’ll call your father right now.” Tangsao dialed the convenience store’s phone number, and I reached out in desperation. But Tangsao reflexively took a step back.
My hands met thin air, and my foot slipped on the waxy wooden floor. With a tumble, my body lurched forward, and … oh god! I was pressed up against Tangsao, and my palms unknowingly clutched at her two lumps of soft flesh. This was my first time feeling a woman’s breasts, and I would never forget their creamy, smooth sensation.
And at this close distance, I realized how beautiful her eyes were. Along with her frantic expression, they would spark any man’s desire to dominate. I lost my breath for a moment, and a part of my body started to grow.
Really, a scene like this shouldn’t even appear in a dream. After all, I am her in-law, so if Tangge were to see this, something terrible would happen!
“Ahh~Ungh~” A captivating noise came from Tangsao’s throat. Besides surprise, she seemed to have also let out a moan.
Oh my god, I must be hallucinating. Just when we were both stunned, Er Gouzi’s voice rang out from the phone. *
*It doesn’t say here, but it’s implied that Er Gouzi is an old classmate and friend of the MC.
“Wow, is this that ‘phone sex’ I’ve been hearing about? Lady, please continue.”
I quickly ended the call, and let out a relieved breath.
Tangsao pushed me away, anger blossoming on her face. “Zhuang Feng, are you f**king taking advantage of me?!”
“No, no, I…” Although Saozi looked hot even when she was angry, I didn’t dare to look at her.
“You’re still denying it? Are you saying that it won’t count as taking advantage until you take a shot at me?” I didn’t understand Tangsao’s words.
“Taking a shot? Saozi, you’re not sick, why do you need shots?” My head spun. Because I’d only recently come into the city, I hadn’t had time to learn all the new words and slang. *
*In case you’re wondering, “taking a shot” means having sex.